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Friday, September 29, 2006
  this IS the greatest video ever.

 
  Office Stats

work "friends": 16
people i will have conversations with and enjoy seeing: 29
people i will say hello to because i sort of know them: 39
names on the office telephone list that i am unfamiliar with or are too bigshot to acknowledge me: 53

time spent at work today: 3 hours
time spent working: 20 minutes

what are your office statistics?
 
  Righteous Awesome



AWESOME COLOR!!!
AWESOME COLOR!!!
AWESOME COLOR!!!
AWESOME COLOR!!!
 
  Another Endorsement...

THE HYPE MACHINE

I knew there was a website out there that did this...and maybe I'm slow finding it but I love this fucking site. It essentially takes every MP3 posted anywhere on any blog and lists it here for your streaming pleasure. If it was posted in the recent past and has been removed, it still lists it and tells you where you can buy the record. It really is fucking cool. I've been listening to songs off the new Lemonheads for the past hour or so.

Also (and what is probably the best part about it) - they link to the article where the song was posted online. And if that said blog allows downloading, you can download the MP3 right there.

Just picked up the new Jeezy single. Fuck jeeeeeeeeaaaahhhh. Find it here.

Other cool searches I did today...

Pollard rocking "Baba O'Riley" with Pearl Jam live in Cleveland.

That rap song Ryan Adams did for his website that gives you a good chuckle.

New Beck Songs.

Michael McDonald - Homeboy (!!!)

And TONS of other shit.

Go take a pep.
 
Thursday, September 28, 2006
  Watch Screech Get Laid

And then smear feces on a girl's face.

This is the type of news that makes me not want to be alive anymore.

That's not a link to the video, by the way, but to a New York Daily News article.
 
  Yesterday's Playlist: I Haven't Done This In A While

Mesmerization Eclipse 9/27/06 Playlist

Captain Beyond “Sufficiently Breathless”
Yo La Tengo “The Story of Yo La Tengo”
Ariesta Birawa Group “Senyumlah Sayang”
Superchunk “I Believe In Fate”
Howling Hex “Six Pack Days”
Chavez “Peeled Out Too Late”
Man “Scotch Corner”
Oneida “All Arounder”
Great Plains “Serpent Mound”
Unrest “God Gave Rock'n'Roll To Us”
Dead Moon “Jane”
Six Organs of Admittance “Bless Your Blood”
Guided by Voices “My Impression Now”
Skullflower “Void of Roses”
Swell Maps “Real Shocks”
Doug Sahm “Wallflower”
Minutemen “Nature Without Man”
Sukpatch “Bound Design”
Black Mountain “Heart of Snow”
The Glands “Breathe Out”
Harvey Milk “The End”
The Fall “Tempo House”
 
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
  BC stands for Backward Caps

At least 80% of the males I've seen on campus today are wearing backwards ballcaps. The one non-backwards cap I've seen was an A's hat. Boston's cooler douchier than Oakland.

This is a radio thread. It's a thread about the radio. I'm on WZBC 90.3 FM from 3 to 5 pm today. That's a radio station. One that you can listen to on the internet. At their website. It's cheap. Probably free, even. I highly recommend it.
 
  My wife is oh so hilarious...

 
  This is fuckin' bizarre...

TO TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF???!!

 
  Everything You've Known Is Wrong

My radio show's been moved to Wednesdays, effective today. So I'll be WZBC 90.3 FM today from 3 to 5 pm. Brand new time, same shitty music. Also, Steven Tyler has Hepatitis C. And that lawyer guy is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter.
 
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
  What Is In My...

cd changer at this moment...

Guided By Voices - Sunfish Holy Breakfast
The Rapture - Pieces of The People We Love
Keene Brothers - Blues & Boogie Shoes
Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - The Letting Go
Bright Black Morninglight - S/T


What's in yours? Everyone must answer. Or die.
 
  Monday Night TV: More Like "Hereblows"

Yesterday I wrote that there might be TV shows I want to watch airing every night of the week for the first time since like 1990 or something. I think I can already scratch Monday off that list. Heroes was boring as hell, full of dull characters, interminable exposition, and cringingly awful situations. The invulnerable little cheerleader girl’s story is the only one I could really get into. The Japanese space-time continuum dude also could be interesting, but was kind of annoying last night. I seriously doubt I’ll be watching this again. Studio 60 wasn’t bad, at all, but it also wasn’t great. They should never show the skits, because that musical number they were all so proud of really sucked. It hurts the integrity of the show for all the characters to be so impressed by something that’s completely unimpressive. Of course comedy is subjective, but it’s that very subjectivity that should make them avoid showing the skits. Not everybody is going to find them funny, and for those who don’t the rest of the program is slightly undermined by all the back-slapping and self-congratulations. Anyway, I felt like I had wasted my night after watching two straight hours of less-than-great television. I’ll probably watch Studio 60 next week, and hopefully that single hour will feel less wasted than last night’s two.
 
Monday, September 25, 2006
  Griggs Is Right...

This is probably the coolest thing ever.

 
  Thoughts on Football

...from this weekend.

1) Go Dawgs. Shit fire, man - what was that shit? It seemed as if they just woke up with 10 minutes to go and said, "shit we gotta game to win." Incredible ending. Milner ran a great rout and made sure he was open. Talked to Thorn who heard the post game interview with Cox and what he said in the huddle - the first one he was in when he came in during the 4th quarter was impressive. He said "look guys if we don't win this game, we dont have the right to wear "G's" on our helmets" - pretty fucking awesome. Then the dude goes out and leads the team to a win. Lots of work to do before the big boys come a knockin, but still a win is a win.

2) A good comeback for Notre Dame - I was one of the people who counted them out. Dont like them at all but that was a good comeback.

3) Fuck the gators for beating up on my Wildcats. Hey, at least one of the DBs got a good pic off of Leak.

4) Jacksonville fucking blew it. There are not many instances when you get a team like INDY on the ropes at home. You gotta capitalize. Fred Taylor and Jones-Drew looked damn good. Peyton is still the fucking man. Bad officiating in this game - Reggie Wayne got robbed a few times.

5) Damn are the Bengals good. Between them and Seattle, I dont dont know who has the best wide receivers. Its amazing that Housh and Henry can step up like that. Good win for Palmer.

6) Seattle is hard to beat at home and the Giants need to not pull a Dawgs move like they did yesterday. 5 Tds by Hasslebeck, that was incredible until he coasted in the second half. Eli was/is fucking incredible, by the way. And no I'm not just saying that because he is my fantasy QB - the dude is going to be great. 2 INTs were his fault but that bullshit patty-cake ball Plax fucked up for the 3rd INT was BS and not his fault. If you look at Eli in the 4th quarter of his last two games...its pretty damn amazing. That being said - the Giants are 1-2 going into the bye week, with some equally as difficult games ahead. Tiki needs to wake the fuck up and play, I think once that happens the Giants will start rolling.

7) Who is the worst in the NFL - Oakland, Tennessee, or Tampa Bay?

8) Baltimore is 3-0 but are they really worth the hype? The teams they have beaten were weak at best. And for a long time yesterday they were losing to Cleveland. Also - Philly are 2-1 and I think one of the strongest teams in the NFC. Their WRs are deeeeep and Westbrook, if he stays healthy - is going to be a fucking beast this year. McNabb is rockin too.

9) New England may not make the playoffs this year. They cant rely on a Tight End to move them down the field. Hopefully now that Dillon is hurt Maroney will shine. The spark is there.

10) The Falcons will win tonight 24-21. They Saints are going to be amped, but their shit hasnt seen a D like ours yet. Vick always blows up on N.O. too. Lelie gets a TD tonight, so does Crump.
 
  Final Fantasy Flameout

My ass was thoroughly destroyed by Felix The Kat the last two weeks. He beat me by 103 points the first week of the finals and 15 or so the second and final week. So after dominating the first three months of the season, falling apart in July and early August, and finally putting it back together again for a final rush towards the playoffs, I go down meekly in the finals. Finishing second after winning it all last year isn't bad, though. I've got a good nucleus, a solid farm team, and great research skills, so I should be set for next season. I already can't fuckin' wait.
 
  Lost Is Wild 2

As mentioned before, L and I are busting serious ass to catch up with Lost before the season premiere next Wednesday. Last night we finished ep. 5 from Season 2. Shannon just died, and then they did the episode chronicling the other's first 48 days.

Shannon dying was a shock, and frankly a bunch of bullshit. I hate that bitch Anna. She is such a fucking know it all - oh look how rugged I am. I have fucking issues I havent dealt with yet and I am lashing out by being a bad ass talker. I cant fucking wait to see Saaid skin that ho alive.

I like Dr. Echo a lot - good man can wield a stick. I hope Sawyer gets better, although it would be pretty cool if they have to cut off his arm with that part of the fuselage. Next episode should be good b/c the camps will meet. Jin and Sun will reunite and their love will be stronger. Bernard and Rose will finally meet up and make sweet ass love under the moonlight. Charlie will be full hog back on the heroin, Locke will be mad and Claire (who was already hinting at it) will fully realize that she dont like Charlie all that much. Charlie will have a breakdown and kill himself.

Favorite character at the moment: (tie) Hurley (hard to top that dude) / Jin
 
Friday, September 22, 2006
  Interview questions...

Today at 4:00 I'm interviewing Troy from Mastodon and tomorrow at 2:00 I've got an interview with Jose Gonzalez...is there anything I should ask them?
 
Thursday, September 21, 2006
  How Long Before They Tear Down the Citgo Sign Outside Fenway?

Here's an approximation of a graphic seen on Fox News while eating lunch today: "US Gives UN $5M A Day to Insult Us". Bill Hemmer, ostensibly a news anchor, and not an editorialist or "opinion journalist", repeatedly reminded the viewers that Citgos aren't just ordinary gas stations, but are actually owned by the government of Venezuela, and that any money spent there goes to Hugo Chavez. So during what I assume is supposed to be the network's news coverage, as opposed to the "news analysis" of Hannity and Colmes, et al, Fox is suggesting a boycott of Citgo and a pull-out from the United Nations. Normally the network's blatant bias seeps through the news coverage via various talking heads who come on to talk about whatever big issue they're pushing that day. It's rare to see the actual anchor himself making those points, unless it's Brit Hume on one of those round-table things.
 
  Fantasy Baseball Finals

This is the second and final week in my money league's championship series, and I'm down by 61 points. It ain't looking good. Felix the Kat kicked my ass last week, finishing 100 points up. I'm giving some back thus far, but the odds are stacked against me. Today will make or break my entire season. I have four starts left this week, and five guys are going today. I'll definitely be starting Johan Santana and CC Sabathia, but I'm not sure which two of the other three guys I should start today. Your thoughts?

1. Pedro Martinez: Most likely a Hall of Famer, true, and was excellent through the All-Star Break. He was awful in his last start, although he's always awful his first game after a DL stint. Today he's going against Florida and fellow former Red Sox Anibal Sanchez.

2. Rich Harden: I was expecting an ace, and all I got was six starts. Maybe seven, depending on what I do today. After four months he's finally off the DL. He's starting against Cleveland and CC Sabathia, which is a knock against him, as I would prefer not to start both pitchers in a game. But Cleveland's been punchless without Hafner, so perhaps Harden would have an easy go. Still, he's not expected to throw more than five innings, so I might have to keep him on the bench.

3. Dave Bush: He's been a sleeper for three years now, meaning he's been frustrating as hell all along. Dude had five great starts in a row before completely fucking up last week. I had high hopes for his '06, drafting him in all three leagues, and he hasn't done much of anything to help out. Still, he was great for a month, and could easily have a good game against San Francisco today.

Shit, what a dilemma. I could always start only one of these three, then use Clay Hensley against Pittsburgh on Sunday. Could make the week more dramatic, having a start on the very last day. Hensley's been solid, but I don't have much confidence in him.

Anyway, what do you guys think? Elliott, Crews, SA, LD, Bounds, etc. I gotta make my decision by 1 pm eastern time.
 
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
  Local Government

Former Clinton appointee and Coca-Cola executive Deval Patrick is the Democratic candidate for governor of Massachusetts. He'll be facing off against current Republican lieutenant governor Kerry Healy. So the real question, then, is who will win, racism or misogyny? My money's on the latter.
 
  Gilmore Girls Season Six

We're three episodes in, with only 18 to go before next Tuesday's season premeire. I had forgotten that every single Gilmore is, at heart, a horrible person. Sure, the Loreleis are usually cute and charming, and periodically Richard looks past his aristocratic haughtiness and displays a human side, but when you get down to it they are all profoundly selfish and shitty people. What a great show! I have no doubt that eventually Lorelei and Rory will get around to doing the right thing, but I have even less doubt that they'll each do about ten more things that'll infuriate me before the season's over.
 
  FUN MOVIE REVIEW GAME*

*: not actually fun

Below are the names of five movies from the '90's that I recently watched via our handy little On Demand thing. Further below are five short reviews that each describe my opinion on one of these movies. Whoever first guesses which reviews apply to which movies will win the last month's worth of the New Yorker. Or the Sporting News. Or In Touch. Or some other magazine that we subscribe to. There are about twenty of them. It's your call!

1. Mallrats
2. Swingers
3. Kazaam
4. 200 Cigarettes
5. Heavenly Creatures

A. Flat-out awful, and, surprisingly, not in a fun way.
B. I liked this much better than I did ten years; first movie I ever saw at the Tate.
C. I loved it just as much as I did ten years ago; it's still the best overall film by this director.
D. I can't believe I've defended this movie for so long. Almost awful; a couple performances are really good.
E. Interesting idea, horrible execution.

Answer in the comments, of course.
 
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
  There might be a chance

There might be a chance that Lil Flip and I are going to play a song on stage with Dr. Dog tonight at the sold out Tabernacle. They are opening for the Raconteurs, amazingly enough. They called Flip and said they had learned one of our songs, and they played ATH last night - so I dont know what they did there. Flip is supposed to call me and fill me in when he gets off work to let me know if he is on his way down to ATL to rock the shit out of that place.

If this happens, there will definitely be video/pictures of it here...

Keep your fingers crossed.
 
  Uncivil Thor, aka Who Are These People?

After being delayed a month, Civil War #4 finally comes out tomorrow. So now we’ll get to see how thoroughly out of character Thor acts, and know if he kills Hercules, The Falcon, (formerly Black) Goliath, or even all three. I’m almost certain Herc will buy it, ‘cuz he’s entirely too fun to let live. Marvel’s not quite as on-point with the anti-fun campaign as their Distinguished Competition, but they still never let any of the good times get anywhere near the center of their current universe. In the same month all the heroes can be hanging out, having a good time at Ben Grimm’s poker night, in the final issue of Slott’s The Thing series, while also trying to literally kill each other in the Mark Millar-penned Civil War, the most important crossover ever, or at least until the next one. I’ve noted here before that I can’t complain too much about the grim’n’grittification of the last two decades, since some of the best comics ever wouldn’t have existed otherwise. Still, the degree to which it has taken over the superhero industry is unfortunate, especially when it leads to stuff like Civil War. The concept is a fine one, and the series itself started off rather well. The problem is that hostilities escalated too quickly and violently for it to make any logical sense based on what we know about these characters and the Marvel Universe. The core ideas and opinions of most of the major characters involved sometimes ring true, but the fighting and, now, lethal force involved is completely out of character for everybody. If Marvel had approached it in a more subtle fashion, and built up to it in the background for the last year or so, then I could understand passions eventually leading to an accidental death or two by the fourth issue of the miniseries. Of course the side responsible for the death should be wracked with guilt with for the rest of the series, the hero responsible scarred for the rest of his life. I seriously doubt that’ll happen, though. Given the tactless, overwhelmingly negative way in which they’ve depicted the pro-registration side and Iron Man in particular, I’d be really surprised if they’re shown with any regret or remorse over whatever death does occur in #4. Also, with how quickly they’ve rushed through this story, I question the creators’ ability and desire to make this death actually have an impact upon the reader.

I’ve read some speculation, which will hopefully remain just that, that Captain America will die and finally force Spider-Man to change to the anti-registration side, which Spidey will come to lead, in the process realizing that he has the ability to inspire and command and basically begin to fill the spiritual figure-head position that Captain America has always filled in Marvel’s superhero community. I’m sure this wouldn’t happen, but who knows, what with these dudes who currently call the shots. It probably makes sense, and would definitely be convenient, to have your most marketable figure be the central focus of your superhero universe. Superman and Batman are not just the biggest, most profitable characters at DC, but also undisputedly the most important and respected by their peers within that fictional universe. Their Marvel analogues are Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and the Fantastic Four, none of which have been particularly popular with comics fans for decades. So with Marvel you have this disconnect where the company’s most marketable and recognizable characters in the real world are neither respected nor all that particularly important within the fictional universe. In the comics Spider-Man is still thought by many to be a menace, and is also not all that powerful a superhero. The X-Men are feared and hated by humanity, and deal primarily with threats to and problems within the mutant community. The Avengers and the Fantastic Four were always the Superman and Batman of the Marvel U., and until the last couple of years almost nobody in the real world has cared about those comics since the early ‘70’s. So I can completely understand if Marvel wanted to make Spider-Man into a leadership figure within the comics, even if it meant killing off the 66-year-old character who has maintained that role for most of Marvel’s existence. But what seems good for business is not always good for the long-time health of the company, and if this storyline comes to pass I don’t think any good will come of it. Not only would they be killing off one of their oldest and most recognizable characters solely as a plot device, they’d also be thoroughly changing the very nature of their most successful and beloved superhero. I do think that Peter Parker should be allowed to grow and change, and as such it only makes sense that he might eventually grow into being a true leader. I have no problem with him graduating high school, graduating college, getting married, even having a kid. Those things can all happen without fundamentally changing the character. Turning Spider-Man into the most respected hero around, though, would thoroughly negate whatever underdog, normal-guy characteristics he has left. Spider-Man’s greatest strength is how easy it is to relate to him, how he's a normal guy with a semi-shitty life who winds up with these startling and amazing powers, and still has a semi-shitty life afterward. He's the exact opposite of Captain America, who strongly wanted to go fight for his country in World War II, and actively sought out ways to acquire the necessary skills and power after being declaed 4F. Captain America is a career soldier who was turned into a leader through willing experience; Spider-Man is a normal guy trying to make the best of this unusual situation he's been caught up in. In war movies officers are rarely as relatable as the enlisted men. Since relatability is his primary selling point, turning Spider-Man into an officer would be bad business. I really don’t believe this rumor will pan out, especially since the current Marvel administration has been very vocal about how marrying a beautiful and famous model/actress has undermined Parker’s down-to-earth charm. If it does, though, it'll almost be an admission that the Ultimate Spider-Man series has supplanted Amazing as the primary Spidey title within the minds of Marvel's front office.
 
  I Watch TV, and Sometimes See People I Knew

Last night I sat down to eat my burrito at almost exactly 8 pm. I turned on the television to see what sort of irresistible programs were being beamed into my household. What I saw shocked and repulsed me.

I watched about three minutes each of three of CBS's situational comedies, starting with the series debut of The Class. This show’s very existence baffles me. Why do traditional sitcoms still exist? What purpose does a laugh track serve in 2006? I’ve already established that we’re so far beyond the future that it’s almost impossible to conceive how beyond the future we are; how can laugh tracks thus still exist? Television executives hate and fear the future. The Class seems like a thoroughly awful, useless show, predicated on a ridiculous conceit, springing from an unbelievable situation, and starring horrible actors in stereotypical roles. This one girl was kinda cute, though.

In fact all three shows were awful. Or at least two of them were. I saw two scenes from How I Met My Mother, and one of them was pretty good. I’m talking about the paranoid delusion Nick Andopolis has, in which Willow Rosenberg canoodles with funk legend George Clinton over dinner and tennis, eventually getting to play with Clinton’s hair after he gives her a ferret. That little bit made me laugh. Everything before and after this imaginary sequence, though, was unremarkable.

Three And A Half Men has always blown, strongly, proudly, resolutely. I expected nothing less from it last night. It delivered. Jon Crier and co. served up three solid minutes of anti-laughter, along with one scene that I was very surprised to see. Charlie Sheen was shown in bed with three women at the same time, all in their underwear or nightgowns. I was kind of shocked that made it on the air. Wasn't everything supposed to have changed after I failed to notice Janet Jackson’s be-pastied nipple that other year? I’d think just telling jokes about group sex would be near the edge of what’s acceptable for a network sitcom; actually showing multiple people in a bed together in a blatantly sexual situation seems unthinkable. Dan Fielding and Sam Malone probably made some jokes about foursomes, but I’m sure they never showed them all in bed before or after the fact. Anyway, I wasn’t even remotely offended by the sexual content, but instead by the pathetic attempts at comedy, which were, you know, pathetic.

Of course I was done with my burrito by this point, and despite having a ton of shit to do I remained in front of the tv. While switching around I noticed that, for some inexplicable reason, Jeopardy! was on at nine last night, on the former WB affiliate. I had no intention of watching for more than a couple seconds, until I recognized one of the contestants. A girl I used to know was on the show, and actually won. I haven't seen a second of Jeopardy! in like eight months, so for me to finally tune in when somebody I knew not only competed but actually won was pretty damn crazy.

At this point, shortly after 9:30, I finally realized that the Braves game was actually on TBS. That was the most shocking moment of all last night. The Braves, actually on TBS! How quaint. They haven’t even been showing them on Sundays anymore. I tuned in just in time to see Daryle Ward hit a three-run homer, to put the Braves up 6-1. I decided to change the channel immediately, as every time I watched them this year they’ve wound up blowing the game in the 8th or 9th innings.

I think we watched like twenty minutes or so of music videos at this point. We saw the video for some Brooke Hogan song. She goes simply by Brooke now, which is a pretty forgettable name. Paul Wall was in the video. I guess he wants to get as much money as he possibly can now, before America realizes that he’s ugly and white and can’t rap worth a shit.

At ten I watched that unheralded new NBC program, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. I’m surprised this show made it on the air, what with its cast of complete unknowns, and unproven young writer/creator. Still, it was a pretty good first episode of a show, and I wonder why the network didn’t promote it more thoroughly. This thing could’ve been a hit with at least a modicum of network support, but now it’s destined to die an early death. Oh well, I’ll enjoy it while I can, I guess.
 
Monday, September 18, 2006
  Lost Is Wild...

L and I got our hands on Season 1 & 2 of the Lost DVDs and are blazing a trail through. Our goal is to finish both seasons before the premiere in October. We finished Season 1 over the past two weeks and started Season 2 this weekend and are now 2 episodes in.

People (including Dark) warned me about how vastly different the two seasons are and already I'm kinda like "what the fuck?!" Just got to the part where the raft dudes landed back on the island and found the Korean guy running from the jungle. Others with sticks.

But what the fuck, computer lair? Granted I am still sucked in but now I am kinda wary about this fuckin place.
 
  My New Friend


 
Friday, September 15, 2006
  me on radio now

Mesmerization Eclipse, WZBC 90.3 FM, 3 to 5 pm.

This week: special guest Martin from Reports, who are opening for the Howling Hex up here tomorrow night.
 
  911 Things Wrong About The Path to 9/11

You've no doubt heard about the controversy surrounding ABC's recent docudrama The Path to 9/11. Various Clinton-era officials, including the former President himself, have spoken out against the film's lies and misrepresentations. The filmmakers say they've taken some dramatic license but have presented everything in an unbiased and historically accurate manner. Coke Bref and I decided to watch The Path to 9/11 and make notes of any inaccuracies; what we found might shock and alarm you. Below are just a few of the many errors found in the film.

1. The 9/11 attacks occurred on Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, and not, as the film declares, on October 12, 1492.

2. Condi Rice had a lot to do on 9/11, she cooked dinner, set the table, and served standing rib roast to the cabinet as they went forth with serious decisions.

3. Former Counterterrorism "Czar" Richard C. Clarke was not too busy burning the black churches in 1996 to coordinate an effective response to the Khobar Towers bombing. He did in fact burn the black churches, but it didn't interfere with his day job.

4. Despite how the movie depicted her - Madeline Albright was having sex when the planes hit the towers, not lollygaggin’.

5. Osama Bin Laden isn't number one on Michael Moore's speed-dial. He's number four, behind Domino's, Pizza Hut, and Steak Out.

6. Contrary to the film's assertion, Bill Clinton did not ride one of the airplanes like a bucking bronco as it flew into the World Trade towers.

7. Vice President Dick Cheney didn't personally rescue 23 puppies and Corky from "Life Goes On" from the flaming rubble on 9/11. Cheney was actually nowhere near New York, as he was ensconced safely within the top secret Project for a New American Century compound located on the Blue Area of the Moon, from where he orchestrated the attacks according to the PNAC's diabolical master plan.

8. Another aspect that the movie failed to report, and by failed - we mean didn't even acknowledge like a asshole - was the fact that there was a fifth plane which was incinerated by the USA's UFO prototype. The degeneration was a complete success and the crew of the New UFO celebrated with double whoppers in the hot tub of the sports fitness club in their local town. The families of the crew and passengers of the plane were given a compensation of double whoppers as well and a song written by Rockstar Supernova.

9. President Bush doesn't own blue tights or a red cape. He might be able to fly, though.

10. Saddam Hussein called Tony Blair and Colin Powell on the eve of the attacks asking them for clearance to make a T-Rex slide in the back of one of his palaces. "The slide will be made of party time fun cakes and lead from my bedroom down to my Sillyville Barnyard" he affirmed. ***The movie conveniently omitted this powerful declaration from the leader.

11. The US military invasion of Afghanistan was not carried out solely by a crack squad consisting of John Rambo, Sgt. Slaughter, BA Baracus, Lee Marvin, and William "the Refrigerator" Perry.

12. There is no evidence that Bin Laden has horns under his turban, or a "I Love Slick Willy" tattoo on his left butt-cheek.

13. When the World Trade towers were bombed in 1993, the dude driving the van into the parking deck was wearing a jean jacket and eating a hoagie, not wearing a beige jacket and eating Dunkin Donuts as the pretend movie showed.

14. In one scene top American special op Rock Savage is shown holding Osama bin Laden aloft by the turban while waiting for approval to punch Al Qaeda's leader in the nose. The film asserts that this approval was never granted, due to Bill Clinton receiving a blow-job in the Oval Office at this exact moment (the recreation of which is The Path to 9/11's single longest scene, and ends with Lewinski snowballing the Presidential seed into Al Gore’s mouth). In actuality, Bill Clinton was not receiving a blow-job at this time, but had already segued into the piledriver position, and couldn't reach the phone on his desk. Thus, per army protocol, Lt. Savage had to put Bin Laden safely back down on the ground and help clean up the tunic he had so rudely sullied.
 
Thursday, September 14, 2006
  New (unreleased & smokin) Bobby Pollard Track



A song from his upcomming October release - NORMAL HAPPINESS out on Merge.

"SUPERNATURAL CAR LOVER"

This is the one new song that Pollard played back in January that definitely stuck out as a total jam. The live version was more rockin but still this is great.

Man - I need to get the album this is on too...
"Death Of The Party"
 
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
  Darwyn Cooke Is A Talented Artist


Comic Book Resources has posted a few preview images from the upcoming Batman / the Spirit one-shot by Jeph Loeb and Darwyn Cooke. With Cooke involved there's never been any doubt that it would look amazing. I've yet to read anything written by Loeb, though, but hopefully he won't screw this up.
 
  Biggest News Story Ever

They keep our cafeteria tv tuned to Fox News. Every other segment was about Anna Nicole Smith's son. They'd talk about terrorists for two minutes, then Anna Nicole Smith's son for three. They'd bash the UN for 90 seconds, then give us an update on Anna Nicole Smith's son. They'd talk down to Diane Feinstein about the shrill tone of the Democrats as they exploit 9/11 for their own political gain for 3 minutes, then show pictures of Anna Nicole and her son in happier days. They'd cut to a Head On commercial (apply directly to the forehead!), and then return with a late-breaking update on Anna Nicole Smith's son, with absolutely no new facts whatsoever. And I'm glad they did this, for my mind kept returning to that poor woman and her tragic loss, coming so swiftly after the blessed miracle of her beautiful daughter's birth. I found myself wandering if there were any new developments every three minutes, and fortunately Fox was there to fill me in. Thank God for Fox News!
 
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
  from Kramers Ergot Volume 6



It's pricey, for sure. Still, it looks awesome. Go take a gander at the preview pages; there's some pretty amazing-looking stuff there.
 
Monday, September 11, 2006
  gonna be on the radio tonight

If anybody's gonna be sitting around a computer tonight, and feels like listening to some Unclassical / Crisis type stuff, I'll be doing an NCP shift on WZBC 90.3 FM from 7 to 10 pm this evening.
 
  Five Years Ago Today I Was Asleep

It's been five years. I was fairly certain that I'd be able to set emotion aside and watch CNN Pipeline's replay of the real-time coverage from a purely intellectual level. I missed it the first time, as I didn't wake up 'til noon, after about the tenth phone call from my future wife. Still, though, just now, I felt a massive, almost heart attack-level jolt when I saw that second plane for the first time.

I don't have any grasp of a timeline anymore. When did we become aware that Al Qaeda was responsible?

21 minutes in and the first speculation that it was an attack.

UPDATE: 28 minutes in, and first word of an FBI warning about a hijacked plane.

2ND UPDATE: I wish I could experience the creation of those special 9/11 tribute versions of "Tuesday's Gone With The Wind" and that awful Live song in real-time.

3RD UPDATE: And at 35:30 they get first word from a "government official" that this was an act of terrorism. I've always found it crazy that Bush was at Booker Elementary. I went to Gulf Gate down in Sarasota, and Booker was always one of our rivals. At least in as much as elementary schools have rivals. I hated them fuckers.

UPDATE: It's about 41:30, and they mention American Airlines and Logan Airport for the first time. This is interesting for me, you see. I woke up a little after noon and all this information was giving to me in like one five-minute conversation.

UPDATE: Dude, I've liveblogging the past.

UPDATE: Starting around the 43rd minute they interview James Lee Witt, the former FEMA director who was in charge during the '93 WTC bombing. He sounds like a bad SNL character. He's got this really fey voice with a Southern accent and makes almost no sense. At some point I'm pretty sure he talks about divebombing igloos. Dude's totally shit-faced.

UPDATE: 45:50 first sight of Aaron Brown. We miss you, man.

UPDATE: Shortly after 50 minutes, a graphic pops up about a report of a fire at the Pentagon. Neither Aaron Brown nor Major Garrett have made any mention of this, though. And now I've gotta use the bathroom, which will totally ruin the flow of this thing.

UPDATE: 52:15. They cut off Ted Kennedy, who's rambling on about something at (I believe) Faneuil Hall, to go to a CNN correspondent at the Pentagon. First on-air mention of the Pentagon attack, but no reference to an airplane yet. And at 53:30 they evacuate the White House. This had to be some frightening stuff at the time.

UPDATE: 56:00. Greta Van Susteren's on the telephone, live from some airport somewhere. We don't miss you, at all, lady. And at 57:16 there's the first mention of a plane hitting the Pentagon.

UPDATE: 58:20. Oh, man, the CNN man at the Pentagon just loudly and abruptly cleared his throat in the middle of a sentence, and I thought maybe he just got hit by a plane. It was fuckin' dramatic.

UPDATE: And at almost exactly one hour they report that all airports in America are closed. It's probably around now when my brother leaves a message telling me that he won't be driving me to Hartsfield the next day after all.

UPDATE: 1:08:52. Some guy's been talking about the DC situation for the last minute or so. Suddenly from off camera you hear Aaron Brown yell "Wow", then ask the other guy to stop talking. Aaron says they just saw a huge explosion from the second tower, and at exactly 1:09:00 they switch from a shot of DC to a close-up of a massive cloud of smoke pouring forth from where the second tower used to be. Smoke and debris are now covering everything for blocks around the WTC, and, as Brown says, it truly is "as frightening a scene as you'll ever see". Meanwhile I'm playing ping-pong with Yasmine Bleeth in a dream.

UPDATE: 1:14:20. A witness calls in, and we get the first report of people jumping.

UPDATE: 1:19:00 or so. Confirmation that the tower has collapsed. The first tower hit is still standing. I've probably slept through four or five phonecalls by this point. There were like 12 messages when I woke up.

UPDATE: Aaron Brown regularly mentions reports of a fire at the mall in DC, and just mentioned a report of an explosion on Capitol Hill. I don't remember hearing about these. Were these false reports? The Pentagon's not near the mall, so I doubt it could catch fire from that attack.

UPDATE: 1:25:00. I think Aaron just burped.

UPDATE: Brian K. Vaughn's Ex Machina is the finest work of 9/11-related fiction that I know of. I imagine it must be far better than this thing, which I readily admit I have never read a word of.

UPDATE: CNN's split the feed into two streams. At 00:00:56 of the second stream we see the first on-the-ground footage, at the base of the towers. It's all hand-held and shaky, people rushing forth from a massive pillar of smoke.

UPDATE: 2nd stream, 00:02:57. Aaron Brown is recapping the situation for new viewers when the other tower suddenly collapses. It's odd how quickly it's over once the collapse begins. It stood for over 90 minutes after the collision, before abruptly falling in on itself in like 15 seconds. You can hear what I imagine to be CNN staffers moan and whimper in the background. Somewhere in Hollywood somebody starts reediting that Spider-Man trailer.

UPDATE: 2nd stream, 00:08:15. An aerial shot shows what looks like the entire southern tip of Manhattan completely engulfed in smoke. And more misinformation at 8:20, as Brown mentions a report of a car-bomb explosion at the State Department building.

UPDATE: 2nd stream, 00:11:57. First report of a 747 going down in Pennsylvania. Brown cautions that it's just a report, and that they're getting many reports, and it's hard to guage the veracity of all of them, etc., which he didn't say when talking about fires and explosions in various locales around Washington DC. He again repeats that the Pennsylvania reports are unconfirmed.

UPDATE: 2nd stream, 00:20:13. An AP report says that federal officials believe there's a second hijacked plane headed towards the Pentagon. Brown doesn't know at what time that report was released. I suppose this is probably in reference to Flight 93, although when I finally started watching the news that day everybody was talking about how there might be as many as ten hijacked planes still in the air. That was after noon, almost two hours after Brown mentioned this AP report. When I started watching the news I'm pretty sure I went to MSNBC; I still had a thing going for Lester Holt after his great work during the 2000 election.

Anyway, I think I'm going to stop it here. Lunch is coming up, and most of the major news has already happened. Everything from here on out is conjecture and misinformation, until Al Qaeda takes responsibility, which I'm not sure happens during the three hours they're replaying on Pipeline.
 
Friday, September 08, 2006
  radio

Okay, I'm back on WZBC today, from 3 to 5 pm. That's 90.3 FM, if you're in or around Boston.
 
  Destroying My Literacy



I can't read regular English anymore. Silver Age DC has left me severely retarded. DC SHOWCASE PRESENTS SUPERMAN Vol. 1 and DC SHOWCASE PRESENTS METAMORPHO THE ELEMENT MAN is all I've read this week. Shit, all I've read since last Wednesday. I've had 40 pages left on Knut Hamsen's Mysteries for over a week, and haven't touched it. I think I maybe read the movie review in last week's New Yorker, but that's it. I don't think I still have the mental faculties to understand either of them. Trying to make sense of Lois Lane's 15th attempt to trick Superman into marrying her will do that to you, either that or reading the 15th iteration of the only damn Metamorpho story ever written.

I tended to overuse the phrase "retarded genius" back during my first year or two as a fake rock critic guy. I never fully understood the term until reading these Silver Age Superman comics. These are the most brilliantly addle-brained stories ever written. Seriously, Superman fights crime maybe 10% of the time; mostly he just foils Lois's nuptial schemes and her attempts to figure out his secret identity. In the 400 pages I've read we've seen Braniac once (in his very first apperance!) and Luthor (before he had a first name) twice. One of those Luthor apperances, though, was an off-panel flashback in a story that mostly concerned Lois trying to trick Superman into thinking she was his old babysitter from Krypton so that he would reveal his secret identity to her. That's the extent of the supervillains in the first 75% of the book. Also, almost every line of dialogue is exposition. Every character is mostly retarded, yet they can all instantly intuit the true (and mostly aburd) meanings of even the most obscure and inexplicable of each others' actions, with no words being shared whatsoever. Clark Kent is a bumbling reporter who's always disappearing in the middle of assignments, yet he wins the "Reporter of the Year" award. Metropolis has about a million museums, and none of them make any sense whatsoever (a museum of famous fictional giants? a solar system museum with displays of what science fiction authors think the planets might look like?). NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE. The only internal logic is that there is no logic (and that A SUPERNATURAL CAN'T EXIST). Crooks will go to the farthest lengths, even making up a housing development based on Krypton, with a nightly Krypton pageant that recreates the planet's destruction, solely to get Superman to squeeze a few pieces of coal into diamonds. Superman's getting blasted out of a rocket, or sticking his head into a lion's mouth, or carrying some massively heavy object, for charity in every other story. IT IS COMPLETELY ABSURD. Every right-thinking person's initial response should be, "this is idiotic, but I love it!"

DC Showcase Presents Metamorpho is almost as charmingly ridiculous, but in a much different way. Metamorpho blatantly panders to the groovy, far-out, swingin' kids of the mid-to-late '60's. It's like a comic book version of The Monkees tv show, but only if Mike was a millionaire inventor/tycoon, Davy was a hot lady, Mickey was an adventurer/playboy/racecar driver/living chemistry set, and Peter was a reanimated million-year-old caveman. Every month Rex "Metamorpho" Mason has to bail his boss/taskmaster Simon Stagg and his beautiful girlfriend (Simon's daughter) Sapphire Stagg out of some sort of trouble, which is unfailingly instigated by some form of colorful ethnic stereotype. Every month Java, the "loyal, loving" caveman resuscitated by Stagg and employed as a bodyguard, tries to undercut Metamorpho so that Sapphire will marry him, instead. Every month Metamorpho will speak in the grooviest '60's slang to prove that he's down with the kids. Month in and month out Metamorpho remains exactly the same. It's kinda awesome that way. Metamorpho was written by a guy named Bob Haney, who, between this book and the original Teen Titans, specialized in embarrassing old-man approximations of teen slang and youth culture. The Metamorpho volume can't touch the Superman, but it's still a damn good way to kill a commute.

I'm also in the middle of DC Showcase Presents Green Lantern, and picked up the first Batman volume yesterday. Prime mid-'60's WHAM!-POW! goofball action. Gonna be great, for real.
 
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
  POSITIVE VIBES


Crog and Fagot are opening a Speakeasy in Los Angeles this Saturday Night.

Positive Vibes...
 
Friday, September 01, 2006
  Elevator Convo; I was on the VMA's

Pretty good elevator conversation happening this morning. This dude was explaining to his co-worker why he was dismissed from jury duty.

"There's this part where they ask you if you've ever been arrested, and I've been arrested a few times. I mean, nothing crazy-- I was in a band in the 70's, that's all."

The dude he was talking just nodded like that made perfect sense.



Also, anybody catch the VMA's last night? I felt like my mind was eroding until the environmental PSA came on with the Masters jamming. They edited it so my guitar solo was twice as long. Such sweet licks.

And have the Killers always looked like that?
 
  pitchfork fuckup

You might've heard: the other day Pitchfork forgot to secure the server that they upload their review albums to. So for whatever period of time people could freely download several dozen records, including many that aren't scheduled for release for weeks or even months now. Unscrupulous music nerds could grab the upcoming Yo La Tengo, the latest Bob Pollard record, and even Joanna Newsom's second album, which doesn't come out 'til November. I'm actually listening to a song off that last one right now. It's good! But so, way to go, Pitchfork! Thanks for making it easy for everybody.
 

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MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE RADIO:
Elliott is on AM 1690 the Voice of the Arts on Monday nights from 7-9PM for Radio Undefined
Crews is on WXDU on Tuesday mornings from ten to noon

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Dark doesn't want to own her, but he can't let her have it both ways.

Cocaine Bref is proud of his island heritage & will riff with you.

Elliott is sufficiently breakfast.
PS3 ID: ATLbloodfeast

Crog works in the bullshit industry in Hollywood. He was born on May 7th, 1978.

Jerkwater Johnson (friend to CT Jake Motherfucker) lives in San Francisco. He likes snacking, and the Mets, and is the proprietor of a bar called Duck Camp.

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