Monday, April 28, 2008

Amazin' fucking game tonight.
Friday, April 25, 2008
  Francy Work

UPDATE: WUOG was having equipment issues on Friday afternoon, so they taped the interview and put it up in their podcast section. Find the interview here.


We're going up to WUOG today at 1:30 for an interview. Tune in if you wanna jam some thoughts.

Stream here: WUOG JAM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
  Royal Bangs

Royal Bangs - Cat Swallow
Found at skreemr.com

for skreel, get there early saturday. love these dudes and cant wait to jam with them this weekend. they are on the verge of busting loose. other great rippers here (check out "new scissors").
Monday, April 21, 2008
  fine art

Friday, April 18, 2008
  Frilight - One Week Away!

  Dean Ween's Fishing Show "Skunked" - First Episode

Deaner is a fine fisherman. Pretty awesome that he's started his own tv show about it.
Thursday, April 17, 2008

Wednesday, April 16, 2008
  the latest in a long line of "that was ten $@%*ing years go?!?" moments...

"Panic in the Streets"

I had no idea anybody called it that. I wasn't even in town when this happened; I was in North Carolina for my grandmother's funeral. I saw carloads of people headed to and from Athens before and after the show, though, at gas stations throughout the Carolinas.

Upcoming installments: the France's first Live in the Lobby / Seinfeld's last episode / Death of Sinatra; my 21st birthday / first drunkening; Never Again.
  my review of the latest stephen malkmus record...

is over at the Flagpole.

spoiler: I like it.
Monday, April 14, 2008
  AUZ TOUR 3/3 plus link dump

Woke up, went to where some of us were staying at our friend Darron Hanlon's house. He was kind enough to throw us a BBQ and a drive us to the airport. The BBQ was great and the perfect way to cap off what was the probably the best tour of my life so far. The plane ride home was a mind waver - get this - we left at 3:30pm on a Monday and got to SF at 10am on a Monday. And no, we did not skip a week in the air. We went back in time.

So, thanks for reading this long ass shit. I knew it would be too long, which is kinda why I was sorta reluctant to type out a tour report - too many good things to talk about. I can guarantee you I left a lot of good stuff out too.

Here are some links if you're bored:

Phil jamming with Clappy Hands Say Yeah: thrilla

Hound chugging almost an entire bottle of habanero sauce. "San Francisco style, bitch!" saucy

Something that came up in the "related videos" section when I was watching Drew chug the hot sauce that's called "Hammjamm at Emo's SXSW" that has nothing to do with us. Could the lingo be spreading!? hammjamm world

lowest crowd ever in australia, camera goes out when i get to whoever shot this: low as shit

us jamming Dead Memory Man pretty hard: sweat jam
  Jon Stewart talking jewish with W....awesome!

  Franceversary / Delirium Poster

Greg Vagen is the man.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
  AUZ 3/2

Mercy. Must get this done.

The ominous DUNN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN at the end of my last post was because we woke up supremely early to make our flight to Sydney and got hosed worse than I've ever been hosed on a tour. Turns out our flight was the first leg of an international flight to Osaka or somewhere, even though we were only going to Sydney. For an international flight the shit ass airline had a policy of checking in an hour early. Which we were there over an hour early. But we had to check into the international terminal and we waited in line to check in at the domestic terminal and they said "too bad by the time you get to the international terminal it'll be too late fuck you". Even though the international terminal was close by unbeknownst to us. So they just fucked over 15 people. They said we could pay a heap of money and get on an afternoon flight, but that would cause us to miss our show in Sydney. No way no how. We had no choice but to march over to Virgin and buy 15 tickets on the spot for $3000 or $3500 and eat the biggest dangh ever. Blew all our money we'd been collecting at our side shows.

Forget it. We came to jam, not to complain. Got to Sydney and took a taxi to Laneway. This one was set up amongst skyscrapers. A big main stage in a park/square kind of place, a 2nd stage in an alley between two skyscrapers (this was where we played), a 3rd stage in a smaller alley between two skyscrapers, and a rock club between the two alleys. The backstage was up in a hotel several stories up, with a good view of the square/main stage area. When we got there we saw Personal up in the window and he mooned us.

We hung out for a while backstage and took in some brews. Then Ice and Izzo and SM and SM's penpal friend went to check out some of Monchister Arkestra - the ATL band that had been seeing our shows and hanging with us. In classic Ice fashion, we crept too hard and only caught the last half of their last song. Geez. By then we went back and Bird Dog and Kellie and Jamie had arrived. They skipped out on Brisbane because they had a DJ gig to do but met up with us in Sydney for one last Flyin ette jam. Hung out some more backstage for a bit and then it was getting close to our final jam.

We entered the alley behind the stage with all our shit. Okraville Raver was jamming it really hard. They were kind of going bananas. Pretty good stuff. I watched the end of their set from the back of the stage. When they were done they seemed really excited to see us back there. Those dudes were pretty dang into Stir Fryin. We set up. We had Haima doing sound for us again and we were feeling right.

Jammed it super hard, and at this point it's like "duh." Same kind of scenario as Melbourne. Was sorta empty while we set up but this time once we started there were a ton of people and it filled up quickly. By the first 1/3 or so, people were WITH US. Jammed it really hard. Had the boogie board. Sent Phil out into the crowd. Good stuff. Then Zach notified me we had only 1 song left. Our set had three songs left and the stage clock said he had 15 minutes. I tried to confer with some of the sound people but couldn't get anything out of them so I pulled out my schedule from my pocket and announced to the crowd that we were just told to play one more song but according to this schedule we have time for three more so that's what we're gonna do. Crowd eruption. Played another.

After that I noticed the back corner of the stage was fucking packed with other bands watching us. I told them to all get on stage. Everyone. So people from Okraville, Monchister Arkestra, Clppy Hands, who knows who else - those were just the people I could see that were adjacent to me, it was a fucking sea of people on stage - all got up and jammed the Art of Jamming with us. It was so crowded that Phil CROWD SURFED ON STAGE. That's how packed it was.

We had one final song and during the beginning I heard a voice talking to me over the monitor, but it was so loud up there I couldn't hear what he was saying. Then the monitor just went off. I looked around and the band was still jamming as hard as ever and I looked out into the crowd and that's when I realized just how crazy they were getting. Man they were really fired up and dancing with their fists in the air. So I just kept singing even though I couldn't hear anything I was doing. We finished the song and the band carried me off stage, exactly at the time we were supposed to stop. It turned out the monitor guy sabotaged me but the front of house was fine and Haima said he couldn't even tell I had no monitors (meaning I was still singing okay). I had a word with the festival stage dudes but who knows. A lot of miscommunication. Didn't matter. We fucking ruled it anyway.

Afterwards Bird Dog took me on a journey to see the Opera House. It was only a few minutes' walk away. Soon everyone else showed up behind us. I think this happened after we played. Maybe it was before. But anyway that thing was wild. Then we went back to see Clappy Hands because I'd told them I would jam with them on a song and didn't want to seem like a craphead. We made it back and then Bird Dog showed up with a shitload of pizzas! NOW WE'RE TALKIN'. Jammed the song with Clappy Hands but didn't have any jam weapons no I just kinda stood there. Oops.

Next we went into the rock club to catch the Brunittes. That monkey that rode the boogie board was on stage with them. After that we retreated backstage and continued to drink. Soon the afterparty started in a room near the backstage room. Some dude in a band came and introduced himself to me and was a very pleasant fella. He said that he went to catch our set that day out of curiosity. He said the entire backstage area would clear out whenever we were about to play and he had to check out this band that everyone was so obsessed with. !?!? Wow. Anyway, afterparty: they had free vodka drinks and I drank so many that I was so sick of drinking vodka that I bought a beer. Soon they kicked everyone out and we had a panic as to where we were going to dump our stuff.

We were standing outside of the festival area on the street mingling with some newfound friends and trying to decide where to go. Eventually we ended up at the super shitty bar where our party basically comprised the whole bar: about half of the Stirr Frying players and associates, a few BSS dudes, Don Deekon, "Styles", some Clappy Hand dudes, Via Tanya dudes, the festival organizer, and I believe that was it. Really fun time. Some very drunk dudes started a drum circle outside on the street using makeshift stuff. It was truly horrible in the best way - reminded me of some France type of shit. Anyway, there was lots of drunken emotional bullshit flying around about how awesome everything had been. This was our last hurrah.
Friday, April 11, 2008

You read it there first...
"Now, I'm in NYC with Scarnsworth, planning a Triple Velcro reunion of sorts. Shit should be scorching."
  This dude's not worthy enough to sniff Flip's sac...

I'm distraught about this.
Nerdcore Rising is screening in the Atlanta Film Festival this weekend. Its a documentary about "Nerdcore", which lets face it Flip Scoldjah should be the reigning king of. The "founder" of "Nerdcore" is this dude MC Frontalot, who for god's sake is the worst fucking "rapper" I have ever heard. Just watch the trailer and see that shit - its fucking god awful.

Our mission for the next year is to get Flip accepted to play at DragonCon or the huge one out in California - ComicCon. Start a fucking feud between Flip and this dude. Battle MC Chris in ATL to start the rise to dominance and take over the fucking world. For god's sake MC Chris is touring for 2 months on the damn Warped Tour!!!

Frontalot gets credit for "inventing" nerdcore back in 2000, Flip's record came out in 2004 and I know for god damn sure he has never in his fucking life heard of this dude. Flip (as we here know) is miles past anyone in this genre. LIGHT YEARS ahead, and yallz havent even heard the new jams. The world will be scolded.

Anyways i just read this shit, and it pissed me off b/c yet again its another situation where stuff our friends do is way fucking better/funnier/more creative then the stuff that is popular out there today.

Flip For Prez '08
Thursday, April 10, 2008

1. Miscommunication over who should retrieve the forty dollars dispensed upon a cash-back transaction at the self-checkout aisle of a Shaw's grocery store.

2. Frustration over the speed at which one walks towards an idling car when being offered a ride home.

3. Failure to believe that the liger is, indeed, an actual animal.

4. A difference in opinion as to whether the quarters in the change jar should be used for laundry or morning doughnuts.

5. Ritualistic, drug-induced frenzy.

6. Occasionally incompatible beliefs as to what is or is not inappropriate behavior for a thirty-year-old man.

7. The frequently averred notion that the Atlanta Braves haven't been the same team since trading Ryan Klesko to the San Diego Padres in the waning days of 1999.

8. Primal bloodlust.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
  Damn that would have been a tight show

...if it wasn't $150 for a ticket
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
  AUZ TOUR 3/1

Alright fine I'll write another one.

Woke up, went to the Laneway Festival, Brisbane edition. This one was set up with the main stage in some sort of open space next to a fence. I don't know what to call it, but it wasn't an alley. Then the 2nd stage was in fact in an alley around the corner from the main stage. Then the 3rd stage was in a big venue called the Zoo that had doors leading out onto the 2nd stage alley. I'd say it was about the same size as the 40 Watt. This is where we played.

When I first got there I watched some of Via Tanya. My bro's Evelyn and Indra and SF's own Doyle Corndog made up the backing band. After they were done I saw some of the Brunittes before I had to leave to help T-Shaq with the gear.

I think I may've liked this Laneway the best because the backstage area was directly through the food court. It was just a big room to hang out in and they had sausages and potato salad and stuff piled up on a table and a cooler full of brews. You could look out the windows and see the bands playing outside and feel sorry for the people standing at the front of the crowd against the stage because it didn't seem like there was any way for them to ever sift their way out of the crowd. Shit was so crowded. Again.

It was so crowded that when it was time for us to play they brought vans for us on the street and drove us around the block to the outside of the venue because there was no way we were going to be able to walk our guitars and stuff through the crowd.

The Zoo is notorious for not having AC so we were ready for a total sweatjam. I always sweat a lake anyways so bring it on. Thrill wore some short shorts and people seemed to be into that. I should note that the bathroom in the venue had a trough with faucets for a sink and Thrill took a leak in it and then stopped when someone came up next to him and started washing his hands. There was some kind of great feeling for all of us to be hanging out at the side of the stage waiting for Dazza Hanlon to finish his set-- sweating, pounding beers, and just knowing that you're about to break off a piece of sweatjam.

Dazza put on a good set. Probably saw about half of it. A very nice and stand-up fella. We started setting up and I think our confidence was so high because this time we had Haima mixing sound for us. Haima was working for Feist so he couldn't do our sound in Melbourne, but this time we weren't up against the great one so he was free for his bro's. He's usually AIH's soundman and whenever he does sound for us it is the best we have ever sounded (no offense to Scope). We knew we were going to nail it. And whattaya know? We did. The place was packed from the start. What happened was the crowd went from attentive but sort of confused to full-on going apeshit by the end. I love the challenge of converting a skeptical audience. I think maybe Brisbane has some wild people there, because these people were ready to fucking party. Case in point: a dude BEGGED for Yosh to play with his drumsticks for a song, which lead to a dude BEGGING Zach to use his hat as a guitar pick for a song (he did). Something else weird happened but I can't remember. But the capper, which was told to me after the fact, was that we passsed the boogie board out into the crowd and apparently some REALLY wild kid went and dove down a flight of stairs on the boogie board. And somehow didn't get hurt. Anyway, THAT'S what kind of jam we were having.

As I was walking from the venue to the backstage room I was stopped by the BSS dude. He said some super nice things about us and said he was interested in putting out our album. Pretty awesome. Some girl walked by carrying our boogie board and I took it back from her. She said she was going to give it to Feyst but the BSS dude told her Feyst didn't want it.

Immediately after that I went backstage and met some dude named "Styles" who wanted my contact info so we could play a festival in Calgary that he's curating. He said we were his favorite band at the festival. After talking to him for a while T-Shaq told me he was in Pvmnt and my mind blew. The guy was Spyral Stairs and I heard him wrong. Totally looked like him too but just kind of older and wearing a hat (I feel lame talking about this kind of stuff but this is what you guys have been asking me about mostly so I figured I gotta include all the semi-famous people stuff).

Hmm. What next? Hung out backstage for a while. I think there were some dog piles. Then I went and watched Clappy Hands from a secret location and ran into Izzo and Gary there and then hung out with them and Styles off to the side of the stage after their set.

The festival afterparty was in the Zoo but the drinks weren't free and they were expensive and the party just seemed really lame. That place was too big for an afterparty. So we went to our various places that we were staying and went to bed because we had an early flight the next morning.

Friday, April 04, 2008
  AUZ TOUR 2/29

Leap year.

We had early ass flights to Brisbane today. Our hosts had organized two taxi vans to pick us up but one was late or something. Whatever. They barely made it and we took it to Brisbane, home of the Go-B's, my favorite band. When we got there we had reserved two vans and our host met us at the airport. We followed him to his apartment where some of us where staying. He lived in Spring Hill Fair, which is the title of one of my favorite Go-B's albums. Totally fucking awesome. We then went to eat some falafel. It didn't make us feel awful, not even a tahini bit. Hummus did it cost? Not much. Yes, I'm shawerma it didn't cost more than a few bucks. I wouldn't allow them tabouli me into paying more than four bucks for something like that.

I'd done three or four interviews in the various weeklies in Brisbane so we read some of that crap while we ate. Chopped up and changed some terrific quotes into to mundane ones. I was confident the interviews I did were so interesting that people would read them and go see us based on my bullshit, but sadly the dudes chopped and screwed me into sounding like every other band.

After that we headed to the public swimming pool where we were playing. I was disappointed to see there were lanes and no diving boards or anything. This was a serious pool. What the hell- we jumped in anyway and started horsing around. No beers were allowed in the pool area so we were drinking out of the van. Some people showed up and the first band played. Unfortunately I was out at the van and they were so quiet that I couldn't even tell they were playing. Missed it. Crap. The next band played - The Bell Dyvers - and our host Matt was on guitar. They were really good. Sorta like the Go-B's in the late 80's. Light, jangly, pop with interesting and good vocals. Really good band.

Then we played. Hmm.... there were maybe 40 people there or so, but it seemed like a lot less because most people were sitting on a hill on the other side of the pool like 300 feet away from us. We jammed a short set and I totally wasn't feeling it. However, it sounded pretty good and the rest of the group seemed to enjoy the show. Good points: plenty of those megabat flying foxes were swooping over us during the set. I started changing the lyrics to every song to be about the bats. We were in awe. And afraid for our lives. We threw the boogie board into the pool and this little kid kept jumping onto it from the side of the pool and trying to surf. He ended up splitting the boogie board but it was cool. It still looks good. Towards the end of the set I said "fuck it" and jumped into the pool. I had envisioned the whole band jamming it hardcore in the pool with the pool full of people going crazy. Even the horn section playing horns in the pool. But for some reason PHil wouldn't even go in the pool. So I jumped in and Ice came in after and that's when the show got really fun for me. I was jamming in a pool to my own band playing without me. They sang my parts and stuff and for the last song the horn section went out on the diving blocks and jammed it out there. So a good ending to a somewhat disappointing show.

After that we drove our borrowed equipment to our next show that night and put it backstage. We then drove out to our friend Greg's house for some premium frontloading. A bunch of us were staying with him and he had the best house I've seen in a while. First of all he had this really really old jukebox loaded with his own personal collection of seven inches of a lot of old 80's New Zealand bands. The jukebox was kind of warped or just shitty and it made everything sound terrific. So he was blaring that thing and his whole living room opened up onto a back deck and he turned the couch around so that it was facing outside. Such good vibes in that place. Ordered some pizza and somebody bought two slabs of beer. Excellent.

After hanging for a few hours we made our way to the club we were playing. A very strange arrangement. Don Deekon had his own show booked there that night, complete with opening bands, but then we had our own show AFTER his, and it was just us playing. The club told us we were supposed to play right when Don Deekon stopped, so I guess it was like we were headlining his show, even though we were essentially unannounced on that bill. Kind of confusing. But we got there in time to catch Don's set and it is so much fun to see that guy live. The fucking MASTER of audience participation. People were going fucking apeshit. Luckily he knew we were playing after him and announced several times to stick around for us.

When it was time for us to jam, Doyle Corndog, our sax player, bought or was given a whole round of shots for the band. We all took them and then Don Deekon lead us in our pre-show chant. Becky threw up backstage after taking the shot. Awesome. I was fucking ready to jam and the crowd was too. Don had primed them up WELL for us. It seemed like a lot of his crowd stuck around for us and then a good amount of people had just arrived to see us including the Clappy dudes and the BSS dude. I think some people just wandered up there randomly as well. Anyway, a surprisingly good crowd. We jammed it super hard and the crowd was going nuts. Listen to how into it they were: in our song Rope Burn when it gets to the breakdown we all take a knee. As we did this tonight the entire crowd took a knee instantaneously. I never said shit to them about taking a knee. They were just totally fucking with us all the way. I think the last song was Art of Jamming and we either invited people on stage or they just invaded it themselves. Anyway, a packed ass packed stage AWK-style. It ended and it was like Sweden or something. People were hugging me telling me thank you. Their minds were blown. Ninah was selling our merch and she said a lot of people hugged her for selling them merch. A success!
  The Box and the Bell

This game came about when Gus and I were discussing the rules of Australian football. "How do you score? Do you put the ball in a box and then ring a bell or something?" To which Gus started laughing really hard and said that should be a new sport.

So we got to talking. The field is rectangular with a goal on the end. The offensive player starts at the other end. Planted down the middle is a bunch of fake trees that are thick and tall - maybe similar to telephone poles. In one corner on the far side of the field from the goal is a lone fake tree.

To enable play, the "orbiter" position player must run circles around the lone tree in the corner, without stopping. If his orbit is broken, the play is over. While the orbiter is in orbit, the dancer must slalom through the line of trees heading towards the goal. The dancer carries a ball with him/her.

The defenders' (not sure how many of them there are) goal is to either stop the orbit, stop the dancer from slaloming, or the easiest thing they can do is knock the orbiter or dancer into a tree. If either of them touches a tree, the play is over. Now, this sounds sort of easy. Think again. The defenders must have their hands firmly placed on their hips at all times and do the knocking by headbutting or shoulder throws. Imagine dudes running around like crazy with their hands on their hips.

If the orbiter manages to keep running around in circles without getting too dizzy or getting stopped or touching the tree, and the dancer has danced through the entire line of trees, it's goal time. The ball must be placed in a box about chest high, the lid closed, and then a bell must be rung. The bell is just above head level. There are two defenders guarding the box and the bell. The low guard must sit on the ground and cannot leave the ground. The hands and arms are free to try and keep the dancer away from the box. The high guard sit atop a very high chair. Picture a lifeguard's chair. The high guard has one shot at stopping the dancer by dropping out of the chair, arms and legs outstretched, and attempting to land on the dancer. If the high guard misses, that's too bad - he/she only gets one attempt.

I guess the point is that's it's really difficult to get through the line of trees with the orbiter intact, so once you try to score it's really easy to do so while the high and low guards are wildly struggling in vain. But I guess if the high guard times it right some real clobbering can happen.

We didn't get this far but I'm thinking maybe three normal defenders along with the two guards to a team. And maybe the offense has the same amount of players and each offensive player gets to take a turn as the dancer and try to score. Hit a tree or get clobbered, it's over. Next dude's turn. Once they cycle through the five attempts, they switch sides and the other team gets a chance to score.

Two halves? Or four quarters maybe?

Ice, add in anything I forgot.
  AUZ TOUR 2/28

Woke up surprisingly not hungover. I've found a nice little trick that seems to work for me: get super drunk one night, be hungover as hell the next day. Get super drunk that day, not much of a hangover the next day. And I can keep riding that on tour but that doesn't help the exhaustion. If I ever go on tour again for longer than ten days this strategy probably won't work. Gotta keep it healthy.

Anyway, can't remember much about this day. Ice and Gus and I went to have a meeting with the AIH manager to discuss a bunch of business shit. Well Ice went just because he was with us and Gus went because he knew I'd never be able to find her office on my own. After that we went to a pub where our hosts had yet again gone above and beyond and reserved us a big room and we all hung out and ate some awesome pub food and order pots of beer and shit. After that we went to this weird game room/pool hall bar type of place. There were a bunch of old dudes there playing cards and speaking another language. And they only had two types of shitty beer. I was a very impressive foosball player to everyone until this dude Connell and his italian girlfriend came in and annihilated me. We called it an early night since we had flights to Brisbane at the ass crack the next morning.

Oh yeah, probably the most notable thing that happened today was that during our travels Gus, Ice and I invented the best sports to be invented in the last 200 years: the Box and the Bell. This deserves it's own post.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
  AUZ TOUR 2/27

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh. Can't remember what happened on this day until going to the club for soundcheck. Went and ate some real expensive pizza afterwards. Tasted about the same as the $4 one. Tonight was our big headlining show in Melbourne. Before the tour I was questioning our label bosses about the wisdom of us headlining a show - I pictured us playing to about 20 of our friends - but after what happened at the festival the hype was so palpable you could tie around you and wear it like a belt. I now had hope that this show would be a megajam.

We had a 40 person guestlist, so we knew there should at least be that many people there. Our good buddies the Zeebras opened the show. Different lineup, but still had the awesome tunes. I was very pleased to see them play again. After that was the Krayon Feelds and they were really good as well. Holy heck they could sing. They have mastered the voice.

By the time it was our turn there were about 150 people there. Pretty dang good considering we were pretty much unknown a few days ago. The crowd seemed down for a jam and we gave it to them. We hid in the back of the club and did our usual pre-show chant, startling the people around us. As per our itinerary instructions mixed with some of our own designs, the soundman cut the lights and pumped Sirius by Alan Parson Project. You know, the Chicago Bulls intro music. We crowdsurfed Yoshi and Tater to the stage and some other necessary players took the stage as well: Hound, Thrill, Momo. They strapped in. The song faded and they broke into the beginning of Smokies. When the song kicked in for real the entire horn section was still hiding in the back corner and they starting blaring the horn riff and marched to the stage. Then the Flyinettes and I made our way on the stage. I think I timed it a bit wrong and grabbed my mic and started singing from the crowd, but it turned out cooler that way. Accidental cool.

So with an entrance like that setting the bar, we tried hard and kept that shit going, probably even gained momentum as we went along. We debuted our Stirr Fryin' brews (Who Wants to Jam a Brew Groove Sticker on top of the normal beer label), had a slab (case) brought to us on stage mid-set, and we were fucking jamming. HARD. The crowd was super into it. I think we had to do an encore, so we did the 12 minute version of NGTTG, and I did the Lowest Crowd Surf Ever pt. 2. It was way more successful than the first one, but I kinda explained it to everyone and they were fucking WANTING my sweatstorm body surfing over them while on their knees. They surfed me out into the middle of the club and turned me around and passed me back up and we jammed it home for a few more minutes of the NGTTG chorus. GOod show. GREAT show.

After the show was the afterparty. Somehow the drunken debauchery turned into a hot sauce shot contest which Hound aka Personal aka Drew won by chugging half the bottle at once. Throughout the party I kept trying to grab Marky's balls and he eventually threw hot sauce in my face. Face was burning. It seeped into my pores and I had to stick my head under the sink for a while. That's how the party ended. I killed it.

Youtube the lowest crowd surf ever if you feel like some proof.
  My new favorite Brave

  Dear CNN:

Wednesday, April 02, 2008
  AUZ TOUR 2/26

Had a dang full-on fever the night before. Sweating in the bed and stuff. Woke up feeling a bit better but still totally sick. Stay in? Take a day off? FUCK NO. This was the day that our pal Jamie had organized a trip to the Healesville wildlife sanctuary. I had three goals for my trip to Australia: hang out with some friends, play some jams, and see some awesome animals. There was no way in hell I was going to miss this.

Jamie had organized three vans to take us all out to the sanctuary. Doyle Corndog, our sax player, had one, and Clppy Hands and Brunittes had some room in their respective vans as well. We met for breakfast and then headed out there. Was a bit closer to a zoo than a wildlife sanctuary, but still really great. No holding koalas though, eyes only. A lot of AUZ animals are nocturnal so we were out of luck with a lot of stuff. Saw some kangaroos, wallabees, a platypus, a giant lizard, and other weird stuff that I can't remember the names of. Unfortunately the the taz devil was asleep or something. Couldn't see the madman.

The runner-up highlight was an up close and personal view in the house of the bats. I walked in and looked up and almost ran for cover. The fucking bats were directly above us and as big as cats! I am not exaggerating. Cats with huge bat wings. They actually look like of cute. They're called Flying Foxes. Look 'em up if you don't believe me.

The highlight was without a doubt the birds of prey demonstration. A bunch of killer bird were flying around and it was an amphitheater and the handler would walk to the top of the seats behind the crowd and the birds would fly to him CENTIMETERS above the crowd. One bird touched me, and I wasn't the only one. The best bird was the one that smashed a fake ostrich egg with a big rock.

Oh yeah, the didgeridoo stuff was jamming intermittently in the background throughout the sanctuary.

After Healesville we drove up into the mountains and threw an american football around to get us back in our comfort zone. After that we were going to go swimming but realized we had to go get some pizza instead. We drove back to Melbourne and went to a pub where they had four dollar pizzas. After that a lot of people went to see Don Deekon, who was on the wildlife trip with us, but I went to see the Locksmiths open for Feyst. The Stirr Fryin' horn section played with Feyst on that hit tune 1234 but she said it was AIH. But it was our horn section and only Gus was in AIH. Izzo was displeased.

By this point I was feeling a lot better. Guess sometimes doing a bunch of shit all day long can heal you just like staying home and wasting your time can.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
  to be the man, you've got to beat the man

I watched the last twenty minutes of Raw last night, maybe the third or fourth time in six years that I've purposefully watched any of it, just to catch Ric Flair's farewell. If you didn't hear, he wrestled his final match at Wrestlemania on Sunday, losing fair and square to Shawn Michaels. Last night was a good tribute, with Flair delivering a fine promo before a host of wrestlers came down to wish him off. Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, JJ Dillon, and Barry Windham were there, along with Harley Race, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Dean Malenko, and a number of current-day guys. Dusty couldn't be there, apparently, but he did talk about Ric in a video that ran before the tribute. Some guys were missing - Sting, Lex Luger, Ole Anderson, and Terry Funk really should've been there, current employers and/or reputations aside - but it was still a great send-off. It probably came a few (okay, a dozen or so) years too late, but I'm glad he was able to retire respectfully and with a celebration, and not your more common memorial special.

anyway, here's an awesome photo I found at this site. It's probably the two greatest dudes ever sharing a special moment:
  How about some Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions next?

The NY Times' feature on Al Jaffee's Mad Fold-Ins is exactly what this shit-ass workday needed.

01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 / 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 / 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 / 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 / 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 / 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 / 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 / 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 / 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 / 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 / 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 / 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 / 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 / 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 / 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 / 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 / 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 / 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 / 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 / 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 / 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 / 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 / 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 / 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 / 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 / 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 / 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 / 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 / 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 / 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 / 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 / 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 / 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 / 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 / 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 / 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 / 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 / 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 / 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 / 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 / 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 / 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 / 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 / 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 / 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 / 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 / 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 / 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 / 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 / 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 / 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 / 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 / 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 / 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 / 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 / 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 / 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 / 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 / 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 / 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 / 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 / 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 / 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 / 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 / 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 / 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 / 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 / 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 / 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 / 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 / 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 / 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 / 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010 / 03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010 / 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 / 05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010 / 06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010 / 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 / 08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010 / 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010 / 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010 / 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010 / 12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011 / 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011 / 02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011 / 03/01/2011 - 04/01/2011 / 04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011 / 05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011 / 06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011 / 07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011 / 08/01/2011 - 09/01/2011 / 09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011 / 12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012 / 01/01/2012 - 02/01/2012 / 02/01/2012 - 03/01/2012 / 02/01/2013 - 03/01/2013 / 12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014 /

Elliott is on AM 1690 the Voice of the Arts on Monday nights from 7-9PM for Radio Undefined
Crews is on WXDU on Tuesday mornings from ten to noon



Dark doesn't want to own her, but he can't let her have it both ways.

Cocaine Bref is proud of his island heritage & will riff with you.

Elliott is sufficiently breakfast.
PS3 ID: ATLbloodfeast

Crog works in the bullshit industry in Hollywood. He was born on May 7th, 1978.

Jerkwater Johnson (friend to CT Jake Motherfucker) lives in San Francisco. He likes snacking, and the Mets, and is the proprietor of a bar called Duck Camp.

some twitter things:
je suis france
still flyin'
reports (a band with dark in it)

some weblogs:
unrealized scripts
hillary brown
garrett martin
old man crews
microzaps kindercore
talking radio towers
corp. hq of the san antonio gunslingers
overundulating fever
big gray
unwelcome return
day jobs
maybe it's just me
captain scurvy
movies stella has not seen

je suis france
still flyin'


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