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Wednesday, August 30, 2006
  I Wrote Some Bullshit About Boris, And The Flagpole Actually Published It

SUCKERS.

I still write for them, I'm just not comfortable with self-promotion.
 
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
  I only like lasagna when its free

I'm willing to pay for a good cookie, though.
 
Monday, August 28, 2006
  PIXELATED HIPPY BITS

Posted over at the EXTENSION!
A good late summer mix-tape from us to you. Bask!

1. Captain Beyond - "Sufficiently Breathless"
2. Oakley Hall - "Volume Rambler"
3. The Velvet Underground - "She's My Best Friend"
4. Circle - "Connection"
5. Oneida - "The Adversary"
6. Asia - "Heat Of The Moment"
7. Love Is All - "Felt Tip Hip Kids"
8. Comets On Fire - "Lucifer's Memory"
9. Madness - "It Must Be Love"
10. Warmer Milks - "Rwanda"
11. Wilco - "What's The World Got In Store"
12. Thirteenth Floor Elevators - "May The Circle Remain Unbroken"
13. Stiff Little Fingers - "Alternative Ulster"
14. The Fixx - "Stand Or Fall"
15. Les Rallizes Denudes - "Enter The Mirror"
16. Eric Bachmann - "Lonesome Warrior"



GO HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SONGS...
 
  THE PARTAKER

AKA, more content-free reviews. A diversity of media, this time.

IDLEWILD: The movie, not the soundtrack. Overall I suppose it's sort of slightly okay. Parts are good, parts are awful, but it's really disjointed, and rather confusing in a few spots. Relationships between characters don't always make sense. And, visually, they should've either dropped the fantastical elements that sporadically appear, or included far more of them. The acting is not at all a problem; Big Boi and Andre are both fine, and everybody else in the cast is a solid pro.

ERIC BACHMANN, TO THE RACES: Fogelberglary.

VERONICA MARS Season Two: Only six episodes left. The central mystery isn't as compelling as any of the three from the first season. Other than that, no real complaints on our part. Highly entertaining. It was great to see George Michael and Maeby, although they completely made no attempt to resolve that particular little mystery.

CASTLEVANIA Double-Pack: Two games in one, for the Game Boy Advance. I play it on my DS. IT IS AMAZEMENT. If you liked that Castlevania game for the Playstation, Symphony of Sorrow, or whatever, the one that's like Castlevania reconfigured into a side-scrolling Metroid game, then I'm sure you'd love this.

YOUNG AVENGERS VOL. 1: SIDEKICKS: I only bought this 'cuz I was drunk and had a coupon. I never expected to like it. I'm surprised that I did. It's a better Avengers tale than anything Bendis has written. It's a shame to see Iron Lad leave, as a non-assholish Iron Man would be nice to have around, but at least his departure left it open for the return of the Vision. This is a solid superhero yarn (written by some OC writer, apparently) that nicely splits the difference between old-school Marvel yuks and modern-day decompressed ultra-heaviness. And Hawkingbird is a great name for a character. But still, I probably should avoid the comic book store when drunk.
 
Friday, August 25, 2006
  Punch Out!! The Movie

 
  A Fine Birfday Gift

The parents stepped it up big time and surprised the hell out of me with this great new grill. Took me about 30 minutes to assemble, not bad though. Uh, can you say Sundays at NEW-TP??!?!

The first thang cooked on the Silver Elite? No, not two dongs in a puddle of piss, you pervs. TWO TIGHT ASS BRATS SOAKED IN BEER!! Ice and I chomped em down while guzzlin' a few (Why wasn't L there? She waz out with Randi gettin a salad!). Good jams to come.
 
  Good post coming later today...

Your boys at Mezzy 'Clipse are going to give you the soundtrack to late summer. Your ipod will never be the same. Some damn fine summer jams.
Mix tape, friends.
Coming later today...
 
Thursday, August 24, 2006
  Repressing Ween

Remember May of 2006? The month in which I turned old? I said I was going to listen to every Ween album I had never heard before, and write up brief reviews. I never did. Why? Because I couldn't listen to the damn records! Not that they were awful, but they all bored the shit out of me. Even Chocolate and Cheese, which I've had for twelve years, has always kinda bored me a bit; if it weren't for the nostalgia factor, I'd probably never listen to it again. Occasionally a song from Quebec or White Pepper will pop up on shuffle and frankly I can't skip forward fast enough. Sorry, bros, but I absolutely can not get heavily into Ween. My time's too precious.
 
  Ween repressing


Schnitzel Records out of England is repressing a long out of print and RARE Ween LP. It was a live show - and what is highly regarded as one of their finest shows ever played. The show was on October 26, 1996 while they were full hog into their 12 GOLDEN COUNTRY GREATS tour, where they were backed by a band choc full of Nashville ringers. The repressing goes on sale September 4th.

Also if you are in one of the luck towns - go see them play with Sonic Youth, and The Flaming Lips.
 
  Things I Wish I Had On Tape (either audio or video)

1. Every Head To Head ever.
2. Any random episode of Single Theory, back when SA hosted it.
3. The complete Radical Radiators discography.
4. That Halloween '97 Neutral Milk Hotel house show.
5. Every Fracture performance.
6. The Mumbletypeg / Skymic Live In The Lobby (I do have this on DAT, which might as well be a wax cylinder or a punch card).
7. The Bromsgrove battle of the randomly mixed-up bands. (shit - what was the Bromsgrove Seven, again?)
8. The entire Royal Rumble '98 / DJ's break-up / wrestlefest party.
9. Nipples For Days's set-long cover of "Rainy Day Sunshine Girl".
10. The collected works of Green Giant.
11. That episode of the wrestling show with Bad Brad Storm where Homicide, or whoever, threatened to kick the shit out of me.
12. The France's show at the Hole in the Wall in May 1999.
13. The entire KB2K1 concert.
14. The Brian Crews Show.
15. The Billy Landmine Show.
16. Mitch Hedberg's first 40 Watt show.

more to come...
 
  Bounds has an idea

And for once it doesn't involve Elliott taking his shirt off. From a comment to this post:

You need to put Dark somewhere in the crowd, like a Where's Waldo.
Bounds | 08.23.06 - 5:39 pm


Here you go! First one to find me wins a prize.

 
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
  Grant Morrison on Frank Miller

Morrison calls Miller on some of his bullshit in this interview with Newsarama. Here are the good bits:

while I won't pretend we all live on Sunnybrook Farm, I don't think its appropriate - particularly in trying times - to present our fictional heroes as unsmiling vengeance machines. I'd rather Batman embodied the best that secular humanism has to offer - a sour-faced, sexually-repressed, humorless, uptight, angry, and all-round grim 'n' gritty Batman would be more likely to join the Taliban surely?


And while we're on that subject...Batman vs. Al Qaeda! It might as well be Bin Laden vs. King Kong! Or how about the sinister Al Qaeda mastermind up against a hungry Hannibal Lecter! For all the good it's likely to do. Cheering on a fictional character as he beats up fictionalized terrorists seems like a decadent indulgence when real terrorists are killing real people in the real world. I'd be so much more impressed if Frank Miller gave up all this graphic novel nonsense, joined the Army and, with a howl of undying hate, rushed headlong onto the front lines with the young soldiers who are actually risking life and limb 'vs' Al Qaeda.


All in good humor, I'm sure, but pleasant thoughts to this Miller-dissing mind.
 
  LITERACY

I’ve been reading a lot lately, more than usual, and not just comics and video game manuals. At some point I hope to write a little bit on MezEclipse about everything I’ve read recently, but no idea how long that’ll take. I have started writing what was supposed to be a short review of a Spider-Man comic that somehow turned into a rambling seven-paragraph diatribe against Garth Ennis. Hopefully I can clean that up and streamline it and make it at least even minutely interesting and/or clear-headed. I will say this right now, though: what little Scott Pilgrim I’ve read has been pretty awesome, even if it preemptively rips off one of the ideas I had for my long-gestating (and never-to-be-fully-realized) comic Punching Bag. Anyway, yes, I have eyes, and a brain, and I do know at least slightly how to use them in conjunction with one another.
 
Monday, August 21, 2006
  Coming Later This Week...

 
  My Girl Kelly Clarkson - drunk - singing GNR!

Work warning - very vulger! At one point the guitarist says he wants to "skull f***" Kelly. Thanks to Matt B for the heads up.
 
  RETURN OF THE CONTENT FREE TV SHOW REVIEWS

TV shows ya'll should be watching...at least some of them.

Rescue Me - Great. Like watching HBO on cable - no language filter and despite my dislike for Dennis Leary, he rules in this role. Great topics.

Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia - One of the best shows on TV. The "bangling" scene from last week's episode had me laughing out loud in an empty room (Laura was at Justin Timberlake, she likes the show too)

Dog: Bounty Hunter - Rough dude. Huge wife. Bad ass bro. Kool son. All that together = evasive criminal ass kicking.

Intervention - Ok. The drug/drinking portions are supposed to be the sad part, but they are the fun part.

Laguna Beach: Season 3 - New bitch crews. New dudes. Band tries to rock, looks lame.
 
  RETURN OF THE CONTENT-FREE MOVIE REVIEW

Talledega Nights: Great.

A History of Violence: Pretty good, but the ending's too abrupt.

Corpse Bride: Good but slight.

Jandek on Corwood: Failed to meet my low expectations.

We Jam Econo: Drags in spots, but the live footage is awesome.

Little Miss Sunshine: Solid comedy that slightly annoys with its pretension. I wanted to kill the audience, though.
 
Friday, August 18, 2006
  Snakes On A Plane

A
 
  radio

Mesmerization Eclipse on WZBC 90.3 FM, from 3 to 6 pm. Yep, an extra hour today. I'm probably going to be really lazy and just play the same set from last night, with an hour of me snoring at the end.
 
  Amazin' Article...

HERE YOU CAN FIND A WELL WRITTEN ARTICLE BY JULIAN COPE ABOUT THE STATE OF GOOD UNDERGROUND MUSIC TODAY.

Touches upon Sunn O))), Comets On Fire, Acid Mothers Temple, Howlin Rain, Six Organs Of Admittance (pictured), Wolfmangler (!!!), and Grand Funk Railroad.

An excellent read.
 
  Oneida On NPR Tomorrow...

So yeah our boys are hittin' that shit NATIONAL!
NPR's SATURDAY Weekend Edition - with a full interview and a few live performances from what the dudes have told us.

They are the last segment of the second hour - so literally the last thing that happens in the Weekend Ed. Go here to find out what time it plays in your city... After tomorrow they will also post the full live performances here.

I know in ATH/ATL the segment starts around 9:45 AM - so set your alarm clocks...

****oh yeah, notice Jane's shirt in this picture! Rad!
 
  Mez Eclipse live at River Gods 08/17/06: the setlist

River Gods was supposed to be last week, so I took last Friday off. We found out last Monday that it was being pushed back a week, from August 10th to August 17th. It was too late to change my off-day, and so now here I sit, hungover and exhausted, trying to look busy while doing as little work as possible. I couldn't even concentrate on my comic book on the train, and it's one I've been looking forward to for a while, that old Marvel Two-In-One where the Thing teams up with the Man-Thing. But shit, it's worth it, as last night was great fun.

Anyway, here's what I played at River Gods last night.

Captain Beyond: "Dancing Madly Backwards (On A Sea of Air)"
Laddio Bolocko: "Goatlips"
Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come: "Metal Monster"
Oneida: "Each One Teach One"
Love Is All: "Felt Tip Hip Kids"
Still Flyin': "Rope Burn"
John Cale and Terry Riley: "Church of Anthrax"
Guided By Voices: "Unleashed! The Large-Hearted Boy"
Of Montreal: "Where Eagles Dare"
The Speakers: "Oda La Gente Mediocre"
Chrome: "You've Been Duplicated"
Pink Floyd: "Lucifer Sam"
Love: "Your Mind And We Belong Together"
Velvet Underground: "I Heard Her Call My Name"
Royal Trux: "Banana Question"
Red Krayola: "Victory Garden"
Sonic Youth: "Tuff Gnarl"
Blue Oyster Cult: "The Red And The Black"
Monoshock: "Hawkwind Show"
Hawkwind: "You'd Better Believe It"
Comets On Fire: "ESP"
Dinosaur Jr: "In A Jar"
Jazz Butcher: "Partytime"
Minutemen: "Paranoid Chant"
Brian Eno: "Third Uncle"
13th Floor Elevators: "May The Circle Remain Unbroken"
Olivia Tremor Control: "Memories of Jacqueline 1908"
Pavement: "Home"
Bob Seger: "Hollywood Nights (live in Boston)"
Silver Apples: "Ruby"
Simply Saucer: "Instant Pleasure"
Anton Karas: "The Harry Lime Theme
 
Thursday, August 17, 2006
  Go To River Gods Tonight

If you're reading this site, I probably know you, and you probably don't live in Boston. Which is unfortunate, for I do truly miss you. But if you are in Boston, and have nothing better to do tonight, please come out to River Gods, on River Street, in Cambridge. I shall be DJ'ing there from 11 pm to 1 am, playing about two hours worth of incidental music from Jerry Lewis movies. It would be grand to, while standing in a small booth, stare down at you from above while you struggle to have a conversation over the uncomfortably loud music. I follow two other outstanding DJ's, both also from WZBC; Walshe Birney starts up at 8:30, playing "WZBC rock, afrobeat, [and] krautrock", and then John Straub will be doing the WZBC Countdown from 10 to 11.
 
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
  On Notice

 
  Shazam!

You scored as Captain Marvel. You would marry CAPTAIN MARVEL! He is just a teenager inside, but he also has a teen's sense of humor and optimism. He will never let you down, as long as you don't say that one word that deflates him.

Captain Marvel

68%

Superman

46%

Green Lantern

46%

Green Arrow

46%

Batman

32%

The Flash

29%

Aquaman

18%

What Justice League Member (Male) Would You Marry?
created with QuizFarm.com
 
  call Fuse News...



Looks like Kurt Cobain is alive and well, and a Still Flyin' fan.
 
  "Its The Mutherf*ckin SCOLDJAH, Yall!"

Shit has officially dropped and to quote Horny Thorny - "WORTH THE GODDAMNED WAIT!" Been about 2 years since the Flip reinvented the game of Fantasy Football and dropped his first album. A day I dont think anyone in our Fantasy Football League (D.O. Double Gizzle Footbizzle) will ever forget. A complete mixture of confusion, excitement, wonderment, astonishment, awe, & mind blowedness in a tasty little burrito ready for consumption. But it wasn't just consumption - most every person who got it spent hours pouring over each lyric on the lyric sheet trying to understand every reference and laugh at every joke. That first record "Out Francin' Yall" took him far - shows out in San Francisco (Mind Zap, Birthday Zap) where he completely blew folks away with his Lord Of The Rings references and songs about Jizzly Jackets. His Myspace page was so blowed up that Sony took notice and fucking shut his ass down b/c of the "Lil Flip" portion of the name. "You Fuckin Gay" Sony. So he rebuilt his myspace page here...and most of his fans have climbed back on board with messages like "shit we thought we had lost you forever." At one of the San Fran shows some of his Myspace friends drove 6 HOURS to see him play. They got to the show at around 9p and Flip didn't go on until 2:30a - they didn't fucking budge - they weren't missing this display of artisTRAY... Not to mention friendships with national touring bands - for example Dr. Dog - who last time they came through ATHENS had learned one of Flip's songs and had him come up on stage and play it with them. Lets hope they do the same when they roll through Atlanta next month opening for Raconteurs at the Tabernacle.

We all knew album #2 was coming (rumors were swirlin) and that shit dropped four horse strong (and we was dedicated) on Saturday night at Bobby Beers' Bach party. Flip and I had planned a secret dual album drop between he and me (Excalibrah). [If you aren't familiar and are wondering - these BAD ASS names - we created for our teams in the Fantasy Football league - Lil Flip is part of the Masta Cylinders team with Zieg - ExcaliBrah is my team]. Needless to say shit blew some ninjas' minds. Bobby Beers had no idea and Flip and I went on to play two sets of new jams for him.

It wasn't until Sunday and yesterday that I could really sit down with the new Flip album though [first listen was krunk in the hot tub, Saturday night]. I have listened to it about 5 times since then. This thing is fucking amazing. I know I say that about a lot of shit, but GOD DAMN son - this album blows my mind on about 50 levels. What immediately stands out at first listen is the production. Dude got Logic and it may have been the best acquisition since mutherfuckin' Randy Moss. Not only does it have the signature Scoldjah live drum feel but the beats, timing, loops, keyboards, organs, DJ SCRATCHING(!!) all of it flows together like a level 9 hammjamm. Each song is like reading a book - I think Scoldjah may have invented a new type of music with this one - PROG RAP!!! No shit. Every song has about 20 melodies going on, 20 beat changes, 20 lyrical references, 20 jokes....on and on. Just when you think you are jamming on one riff - BOOM 2 more sideswipe that original one and add about 4 levels of awesome to it. Geddy Lee would be Flip's #1 fan if he heard the damn thing...shit Jon - get on that!

The lyrics have stepped it up too, while most people who know Flip love to listen to that shit with the lyric page in hand - you will need it especially here for the first few times until you memorize that shit. The rhymes come fast and in all different styles (clear, distorted, harmonized) and when you listen - you dont want to miss a fucking thing. If you do, you immediately rewind and listen again until you get it. Hillary doesn't know what she is talking about when she said there has never been a funny skit on a rap record because "What If Conan Joined The Fellowship" had me nearly pissing in my pants even at the 5th listen. I think overall my favorite track might be "Ya Shot Ya Foot" where my wife has a duet with Andrew Rieger from Elf Power - completely UNBEKNOWNST to her!

I know Brah and Flip are supposed to be MORTAL enemies but seriously I could not be more proud of Flip for this thing, man. It truly shows what kind of musical genius Jon is. I know he has been working hard on this for a long time (trust me, I know how much work goes into one of these things) - and even if this album is just for fun for a "fantasy football" league and for 30-40 people around ATH and ATL (and friends out of town) to hear - its just the effortless ease with which his mind works that gets me. Besides being one the funniest dudes I know - he is also on a short list of the most talented...AND I CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO HEAR THIS THING...

You too will be bowed down at the alter of the Flip Scoldjah.
 
Monday, August 14, 2006
  Still Flyin - Swedish Tour Checkin 1



Still Flyin is on tour of Sweden right now. Fuck Jeahs!
They played a festival on Saturday night called Emmaboda. This is a picture of Sean standing on some sort of barricade IN the crowd! Amazing. He is going to send me email updates throughout the 2 week long trip. Here is the first one via Mook...

"[it was raining] but the show was so good... i can't even believe how good it was. it's literally hard to wrap my head around it. good GRIEF. if you get a chance, tell OJ that his itinerary for emmaboda was obliterated by what actually happened. i want to try and post a digital pic or two from the show on mez eclipse or something
and you guys will probably think it's photoshopped. haha."

Here are some photos from Yoshi (hammdrummer) from the show (the first 10 or so)...
 
  the time will come when we will be as one

Sorry, hain’t had shit to say for a week or more now. Plus the in-laws were in town this last week. So no writing or thinking or thinking about writing or anything. Just non-stop action. The Moores are widely regarded and recognized as the physical recreational and sporting type. They are mostly into hang-gliding and scuba-diving. So a lot of that. And a vision quest or two. Much self-discovery. Physically and spiritually recreational. Good week. Better week to come.
 
Thursday, August 10, 2006
  Wedding Pics, Finally


Amazing pic.

I think there are over 2,000 pictures, so if you're bored at work - take a gander. He has them split up into color, b&w, and sepia - so just click on Color and then it goes to the different parts of the day.

Other favs...




 
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
  "You know that when that tit comes out, you want to see a snake on that tit!"

BEST....INTERVIEW....EVER!!!!!

(thanks to Thorn for the heads up)
 
  Grey Cell Green - Darkstyle

Dark vs. Elliott on the 99X yesterday...then just keep jammin!
"RETRO DARK"
 
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
  McDan review coming

Waiting on a setlist to pop up for both and have to upload the pics...
 
  My sister plays tennis for Oglethorpe now...

Not in the picture, but hey - its pretty damn cool.
 
  Darkness makes his debut on the Retroplex...

Requesting what else, but Ned's Atomic Dustbin's "Grey Cell Green"...would it be anything else. Audio forthcoming.
 
Monday, August 07, 2006
  THE SUPERNATURAL DAY HATH ARRIVED...(tonight we jam)

Oh my god - I thought it would never come. If you haven't heard MICHAEL MCDONALD AND STEELY DAN ARE PLAYING TONIGHT IN ATL. Fuck yeah, we're going! Fuck yeah, we're yacht rockin the tailgate.

Party sub, smooth jams, refreshing brews, good friends, party mixes, cool outfits, sun in the sky, snacks, Cuervo Gold, & the fine Columbian make tonight a wonderful night.

I'm going to hit you with a double shot today to get your asses ready...

First The Holy Lord...


Then one of the jams the Dan are definitely going to rock with McD tonight...


OH BTW, here is bren doing it from the 40 Watt last week...super smooth.

So if you want a drunk dial from the show...place your phone number in the comments section below - my phone is kinda fucked up but we'll finda way...




 
  Garfield Is Dead

This is not a hoax. These are actual Garfield strips from 1989. You can also read them at the official Garfield website.

I'm surprised I have no memory of these; I'm positive I would have read them at the time. I read the comic page daily from 1985 through 2003, with only occasional lapses while in college or whatever.

I'm assuming whatever underpaid assistant drew these while Jim Davis was off on a two-week long golf bender probably got fired.
 
Friday, August 04, 2006
  hold me close never let me go

Mesmerization Eclipse, WZBC 90.3 FM, 3 to 5 pm.

The streams were down yesterday but I believe they are now up.

Y'all might like Nick better. He dj's before me, from 1 to 3. He plays the hits.
 
  Anyone know anything about "unlocked cell phones"??

Here is my situation - my cellphone is royally fucked. I cant dial numbers, I can only access my address book and in that I cant scroll down - only up, which entails scrolling up through my entire address book to get to someone like Dark. So I go to Cingular to get a new phone - I am currently in the 18th month of my 24 month contract. Meaning - the only way to get a new phone right now is to buy a new one without the contract discount - and they dont have any phone regularly priced for under $400. My renewal for the contract doesnt come up until February - so I either have to pay the god-awful $$$ or deal with a broke ass phone until Feb.

While bitching about it at work the other day a coworker said that she had the same problem and bought an "unlocked cell phone" online for $40 - inserted her SIM card and it worked fine. Her provider (Nextel) never knew.

Anyone dealt with this???
Help a bro out...
 
  RIP Arthur Lee


jammin' in heav... uh... someplace

He died of leukemia yesterday afternoon.

I should've gone to that concert, yes I should've.

UPDATE: CNN's now got an article up. Yes, bands as diverse as Led Zeppelin and two bands that aren't very diverse from each other have covered Love.
 
Thursday, August 03, 2006
  I got some new digs....4 days out from Amazonia!

Stopped off at Ross during lunch today and picked up some fine ass looking threads for Monday night - and all for under $20! The goal (in case you wondered) is to yacht it up, but not insult the Dan. So - smooth, yet tasteful.

Thanks to LD for the heads up on the MICHAEL MCDONALD article on CNN.

Here's today's vid - early 70's performance with the other song writer who actually wrote several songs for the Dan. Still good and grooving - Becker on bass again. Killer bongos...

 
  I want to be a rogue helicopter pilot

Maybe this is well-known. Maybe not. Either way, it's pretty damn hilarious. C'mon. Click it.
 
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
  Dan 2 - 5 to go!



Lip synching much? No horns - no amps - over done singing - i guess thats how they did it back then. Funny to see Becker on bass.
 
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
  The Donkey's Box


Your donkey will be glad to have a cardboard box to play with (but don't forget to remove the staples!)
 
  Now on to Steely D...6 days jam...

A different Michael joins them...
 
  Why July 31 Is the Seventh-Most Magical Night Of The Year

Baseball laid another end-of-July egg yesterday, with none of the big gunz changing hands cept old-man Mad Dog. The Fantasy Realm never disappoints howsoever, and instead of dicking around on our guitars playing Pearl Jam covers all day like Theo Epstein we dug down and did some real fucking work.

Entering yesterday my fantasy was far from perfect. My only closer got Turnblowed out, my pitching staff was a shambles, and my only SS was hitting .227 with no power. I had five dudes asking for Jon Lester and 15 asking for David Wright; all should've realized that the former was unlikely and the latter impossible to acquire. Thankfully I addressed all my needs without dealing either of these fellas.

Here's the breakdown: I traded away Alex Rios, Kenji Johjima, Ricky Nolasco, Mike Jacobs, Kendry Morales, Mark Teahen, Dioner Navarro, Randy Wolf, and Dustin Pedroia. I received Curt Schilling, CC Sabathia, Joe Nathan, Ambiorix Burgos, JJ Putz, Mike Piazza, Orlando Cabrera, and Ivan Rodriguez. That's two above average starters, two great closers, a below average closer on a bad team, two overrated big name catchers, and a mediocre shortstop having a great year, all for one really good outfielder and a bunch of promising kids. I had legitimately considered keeping two of the franchisers, Johjima and Nolasco, but realized they'd have to go if I were to truly contend this season.

This probably looks beyond ridiculous to those not familiar with our league. We don't just have keepers in this league, we also have franchisers and a minor league system. We get one keeper, who could be any player whatsoever, with no restrictions. We have five franchisers, who are players you acquire when they still have rookie eligibility; those guys are yours forever, until you release or trade them. And then we have a six-player minor league system, to replenish our franchiser ranks when dudes start to suck. Good franchisers are really hard to come by, especially pitchers or guys at weak positions, like catcher or third base. That's why I was able to get good but not great players for a bunch of rookies.

The specific deals were as follows:
Ricky Nolasco, Mike Jacobs, Dioner Navarro, and Kendry Morales for JJ Putz, CC Sabathia, and Mike Piazza. Three franchisable players and a minor leaguer for a solid starter, a back-up catcher, and a virgin closer having a great season. This is probably the most equitable of all these deals. Nolasco's having a great year on that young Florida team, and should be a solid number three starter for years to come. Jacobs has 30-HR power and is on pace for 100 RBI this season. Navarro's a solid but unspectacular catcher. Morales, along with Nolasco, was the primary target for the other owner, though. He's still very young and has legitimate superstar potential, and since he was sent back down he's minors-eligible again. Sabathia isn't consistent, and will always be injury prone, but when he's good he's great, and he immediately became my third best starter. JJ Putz has had an amazing season thus far, with 20-odd saves, a ERA in the low 2's, and 66 strike-outs in 50 innings. Mike Piazza's having a nice season, his best in years, with a .300 average and 16 homers; still, he's no longer a guy you can completely rely on.

Kenji Johjima, Mark Teahen, and Randy Wolf for Curt Schilling, Ivan Rodriguez, and Orlando Cabrera. Johjima was the most valuable player I dealt yesterday. Yes, he's 30-years-old, but he's a franchisable catcher having a really good year. Across the board, he's a top-five catcher this year, and his franchisablility made him hard to give up. Mark Teahen, a third baseman, is also a franchiser, and like Johjima he plays a somewhat weak position. Teahen's been on an amazing tear since late June, and has hit 12 homers in 240 at bats this year. Both of these players immediately became one of the new owner's five best franchiser options. Randy Wolf was the player I'd cut. In return I got Curt Schilling, who's having a good year but remains an injury risk. If healthy, he should be my third best starter, pushing Sabathia down a notch. Ivan Rodriguez is a big-name having a mediocre year; all he's got going for him at this point is batting average and RBI. He has little power, never walks, and strikes out a lot. He's still a slightly above average fantasy catcher, due to the position's weakness, but it's a clear step down from Johjima. Orlando Cabrera is one of the most overrated players of the last few years; he had a nice season in Montreal several years ago, and was vital to the Sox down the stretch in '04, but he's a career .269/.318 hitter with little power. He doesn't strike out too much, which is nice, and he'll steal some bases, but he's middle-of-the-road shortstop.

Dustin Pedroia for Ambiorix Burgos: No risk trade for Elliott. Pedroia remains on track to be Boston's second baseman of the future, perhaps as soon as '07. He's having a nice year at triple A, hitting .300-something with 42 walks in 340 at-bats. The guy hardly ever strikes out, and walks a ton; he's like the Youkilis of the middle infield. Burgos is the Kansas City closer, which is kind of like being the quality control director at McDonald's, or something. He was awful the first two months of the season, but has been great since June; if I'm lucky I'll get six saves out of him down the stretch. Still, a big improvement over my old bullpen of Turnbow, Rodney, and Meadows.

Alex Rios for Joe Nathan: And here's my favorite deal of the bunch. No franchisers, no minor leaguers, just straight-up quality for quality. If Rios hadn't missed a month with a staph infection, he'd have 20-some homers and 15 or so steals already. He was well on pace for a 30-30 season, while hitting .324 with a .940 OBP. He's also only 25, and thus a potential keeper-level outfielder on the rise. Still, I had five good-to-great outfielders, along with Aubrey Huff and Chone Figgens, who are both OF-eligible; I can afford to lose Rios. Joe Nathan is one of the top closers in the game, and has been reliably awesome for three seasons now. This year he's at 22 saves with a 1.60 ERA and 66 K in 45 innings. So yes, the man's a stud, and one of the handful of closers that might be worthy of keeping. With the Twins playing as awesomely as they have been the last two months, Nathan should be racking up tons of points for me. I was thrilled with this trade, and it went down right before the deadline.

SO. My team, once-awesome, but recently shitty, is awesome once again. With Schilling and Sabathia I won't have to rely on assholes like Dave Bush and Brad Radke anymore. And although I've hurt my bench, I've improved at short, and didn't lose much at catcher. And now I'm definitely gonna win this league again, for real. Fuckin' Two-Peat!
 

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MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE RADIO:
Elliott is on AM 1690 the Voice of the Arts on Monday nights from 7-9PM for Radio Undefined
Crews is on WXDU on Tuesday mornings from ten to noon

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Dark doesn't want to own her, but he can't let her have it both ways.

Cocaine Bref is proud of his island heritage & will riff with you.

Elliott is sufficiently breakfast.
PS3 ID: ATLbloodfeast

Crog works in the bullshit industry in Hollywood. He was born on May 7th, 1978.

Jerkwater Johnson (friend to CT Jake Motherfucker) lives in San Francisco. He likes snacking, and the Mets, and is the proprietor of a bar called Duck Camp.

NOTABLES
some twitter things:
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je suis france
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