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Friday, April 04, 2008
  The Box and the Bell

This game came about when Gus and I were discussing the rules of Australian football. "How do you score? Do you put the ball in a box and then ring a bell or something?" To which Gus started laughing really hard and said that should be a new sport.

So we got to talking. The field is rectangular with a goal on the end. The offensive player starts at the other end. Planted down the middle is a bunch of fake trees that are thick and tall - maybe similar to telephone poles. In one corner on the far side of the field from the goal is a lone fake tree.

To enable play, the "orbiter" position player must run circles around the lone tree in the corner, without stopping. If his orbit is broken, the play is over. While the orbiter is in orbit, the dancer must slalom through the line of trees heading towards the goal. The dancer carries a ball with him/her.

The defenders' (not sure how many of them there are) goal is to either stop the orbit, stop the dancer from slaloming, or the easiest thing they can do is knock the orbiter or dancer into a tree. If either of them touches a tree, the play is over. Now, this sounds sort of easy. Think again. The defenders must have their hands firmly placed on their hips at all times and do the knocking by headbutting or shoulder throws. Imagine dudes running around like crazy with their hands on their hips.

If the orbiter manages to keep running around in circles without getting too dizzy or getting stopped or touching the tree, and the dancer has danced through the entire line of trees, it's goal time. The ball must be placed in a box about chest high, the lid closed, and then a bell must be rung. The bell is just above head level. There are two defenders guarding the box and the bell. The low guard must sit on the ground and cannot leave the ground. The hands and arms are free to try and keep the dancer away from the box. The high guard sit atop a very high chair. Picture a lifeguard's chair. The high guard has one shot at stopping the dancer by dropping out of the chair, arms and legs outstretched, and attempting to land on the dancer. If the high guard misses, that's too bad - he/she only gets one attempt.

I guess the point is that's it's really difficult to get through the line of trees with the orbiter intact, so once you try to score it's really easy to do so while the high and low guards are wildly struggling in vain. But I guess if the high guard times it right some real clobbering can happen.


We didn't get this far but I'm thinking maybe three normal defenders along with the two guards to a team. And maybe the offense has the same amount of players and each offensive player gets to take a turn as the dancer and try to score. Hit a tree or get clobbered, it's over. Next dude's turn. Once they cycle through the five attempts, they switch sides and the other team gets a chance to score.

Two halves? Or four quarters maybe?


Ice, add in anything I forgot.
 

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