Monday, March 17, 2008
AUZ TOUR 2/20
Alright. Man alive. People keep bugging me to write something up for MEZ ECL on my trip. I'm just going to have to do a day by day account because writing it all up as one big chunk is too daunting and the reason why I haven't gotten around to this yet.
Day one is easy. Phil, Maria, Yosh, and I (I think that's all*) flew out of SFO on Qantas. Let me tell you guys something about flying on an airplane: you're making a mistake unless you're on Qantas. You are also making a mistake if there's not a vacant seat between you and the next dude. You are also making a mistake if you don't have Phil sitting across the aisle from you laughing his head off at some TV show (more on this in a sec). You are also making a mistake if you don't have Yoshi sequestered to the opposite end of the plane. Dude snores.
Why Qantas? First thing they do is give you this bag thing that can go around your neck that contains socks amongst other things that you'd expect. Socks. I guess my ONLY complaint about Qantas is they give you too much shit. Pillow/blanket/bag/headphones/etc. Luckily there was a vacant seat next to me and me and the stranger dude just piled our Qantas shit in the seat. It was a big pile too.
Second thing is the headrest. Why the fuck why doesn't every airline do this? The headrest is malleable so you can mold your own head rest arrangement. My method was to fold both sides against my head like the seat became my own personal helmet.
Third, the service. Did I mention they passed out menus with a timeline on there telling you when the various services were available? Free drinks is a dying perk on international flights. Not on Qantas. When I was one of the only people still awake on the entire flight at 3am or so (but only 10pm AUS time - I didn't understand why more people didn't use this strategy), the plane was DARK. I pressed the flight attendant call button, and INSTANTANEOUSLY I saw a flashlight come out of the flight attendant lair. She asked if I needed anything and I sheepishly ordered a beer (totally seemed like bedtime for the entire plane). This actually seemed to make her happy and she brought back some pretzels to go with it. Not only could you order a beverage at any time, you could also order a snack at any time, as stated on the menu/timeline thing.
Fourth, the fucking screen on the back of the seat and what comes on it. They have some sort of database/harddrive thing on the plane with a computer or something under each seat. What this means is you can pick between literally 30 or so movies (I think I could be underestimating), 30 or so TV shows, a CD library, a bunch of radio stations, and 10 or so games (the arm rests have a remote control that detaches and turns into a video game controller - which you've probably seen before). Whatever form of entertainment you choose gets downloaded into your chair and shown on your screen, whenever you feel like it. I watched Michael Clayton and part of Beowulf and a few episodes of Extras.
For all you cynics, I've flown overseas two other times within the last year and a half, on two different airlines, and they are NOTHING compared to Qantas. Nothing.
*For anyone reading this that was there and I forget something please add it into the comments. This was 2-3 weeks ago and my memory doesn't work.
Alright. Man alive. People keep bugging me to write something up for MEZ ECL on my trip. I'm just going to have to do a day by day account because writing it all up as one big chunk is too daunting and the reason why I haven't gotten around to this yet.
Day one is easy. Phil, Maria, Yosh, and I (I think that's all*) flew out of SFO on Qantas. Let me tell you guys something about flying on an airplane: you're making a mistake unless you're on Qantas. You are also making a mistake if there's not a vacant seat between you and the next dude. You are also making a mistake if you don't have Phil sitting across the aisle from you laughing his head off at some TV show (more on this in a sec). You are also making a mistake if you don't have Yoshi sequestered to the opposite end of the plane. Dude snores.
Why Qantas? First thing they do is give you this bag thing that can go around your neck that contains socks amongst other things that you'd expect. Socks. I guess my ONLY complaint about Qantas is they give you too much shit. Pillow/blanket/bag/headphones/etc. Luckily there was a vacant seat next to me and me and the stranger dude just piled our Qantas shit in the seat. It was a big pile too.
Second thing is the headrest. Why the fuck why doesn't every airline do this? The headrest is malleable so you can mold your own head rest arrangement. My method was to fold both sides against my head like the seat became my own personal helmet.
Third, the service. Did I mention they passed out menus with a timeline on there telling you when the various services were available? Free drinks is a dying perk on international flights. Not on Qantas. When I was one of the only people still awake on the entire flight at 3am or so (but only 10pm AUS time - I didn't understand why more people didn't use this strategy), the plane was DARK. I pressed the flight attendant call button, and INSTANTANEOUSLY I saw a flashlight come out of the flight attendant lair. She asked if I needed anything and I sheepishly ordered a beer (totally seemed like bedtime for the entire plane). This actually seemed to make her happy and she brought back some pretzels to go with it. Not only could you order a beverage at any time, you could also order a snack at any time, as stated on the menu/timeline thing.
Fourth, the fucking screen on the back of the seat and what comes on it. They have some sort of database/harddrive thing on the plane with a computer or something under each seat. What this means is you can pick between literally 30 or so movies (I think I could be underestimating), 30 or so TV shows, a CD library, a bunch of radio stations, and 10 or so games (the arm rests have a remote control that detaches and turns into a video game controller - which you've probably seen before). Whatever form of entertainment you choose gets downloaded into your chair and shown on your screen, whenever you feel like it. I watched Michael Clayton and part of Beowulf and a few episodes of Extras.
For all you cynics, I've flown overseas two other times within the last year and a half, on two different airlines, and they are NOTHING compared to Qantas. Nothing.
*For anyone reading this that was there and I forget something please add it into the comments. This was 2-3 weeks ago and my memory doesn't work.
