Sunday, July 30, 2006
A streamlined account of McDan (no spoilers)
Sorry for the delay. I had to hit the Ritz Carlton in Phoenix the morning after McDan. What a trip! But that's another story and another post. Here's what you've been waiting for--
5 o' clock rolled around and it was time to start seriously jamming. Should I change into my light blue shorts and beach shirt in my office bathroom. Fuck no, if anyone saw me on the elevator afterwards they'd think I was fucking crazy. Maybe they already do. I decided to take a whiz even though I didn't have to because when you're about the enter a serious hammjamm, having to piss only deters the jam. One can't be bothered by anything except awesome things like whistling, smooth attitudes, drinkin', eatin', smokin', relaxin', relagin', ragin', and of course- jammin'.
My ears popped as I shot down the 27 floors in that elevator. Good deal, ears. Now I had pristine audio straight to the mind. Brah, Thrill, and this dude Jason were waiting for me outside. Thrill and Jason were looking pretty smooth. Thrill had on some shorts and a nice button-up buttoned-down and some tassled loafers. Jason looked pretty similar, and he gave off a smooth vibe. I had never met the dude before but he turned out to be a nice addition to the evening. Brah fucked up and wore jeans and some kinda black dr. martins shit and a normal-ass looking button-up shirt. "Is that what you're wearing?" Brah didn't really say much in his excuse effort and just knew how to smooth everything over with me. He held out a TWO FOOT LONG HOMEMADE PARTY SUB. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
This dude just took this trip up a notch from its already far too lofty expectations.
We strolled to Marj's car and she wass waiting for us with the vehicle running. We piled up the car (we're going to jam tonight), and after a not-so-quick stop for beer and chips, we were off. Let me tell you if you don't already know: San Francisco is possibly the weirder weather place in the known world. A typical summer day is in the 60's (nice, but it's total bullshit to have to wear a jacket most nights during the summer). As we drove out of the city, the temp ratcheted up to normal summer weather. I'm talking, you drive ten miles out of the city and it's ten degrees warmer. So now it was 80 degrees all of sudden, stuck in traffic. Brah already handed me a beer, we're already jammin' Can't Buy A Thrill, but that wasn't enough. I changed clothes in the passenger seat and now, NOW, I was in full jam mode. No lookin' back.
We were jammin' a little too hard, and we totally got lost. Where the hell were we? Where was the Shoreline Amphitheater? Fuck, where was the city of Mountain View? We stopped at a gas station to take some pisses and get some advice. The dude pointed Marj in the direction of Mountain View. We done passed it,and were on the wrong fucking freeway to begin with. Shit. We turned around and barreled down the road according the the gas station dude's directions. We found the road to Mountain View, but how the hell would we get to the Shoreline? I started blasting some McD and hoped his voice would lead us. No Lookin' Back. We saw an exit for Amphitheater Parkway. Takin' to the Streets. We saw the Amphitheater itself. Minute by Minute. We found the free parking lot and did it. We made it.
We rolled down the windows and blasted that shit. Started chugging some beers. Brah broke open the party sub and poured some shroom dust on part of it. Brah and I powered that shroom sub. Sounded like a band was playing, but it was only 7:15. I checked my ticket. McD at 7:30. Kinda sounded like McD though. We started getting a bit anxious and I called Z-brah, who I needed to meet up with to give him his ticket. He was almost there. We kept jammin' that parking lot. 7:30. Z-brah had parked, but it turned out they were in a different lot. Shit on a brick. We grabbed the rest of the brews and headed to the front gate to meet him. On the way there some cops were lookin' for people with brews--- THAT'S ME. I had a pretty full one so I decided to play cards with Satan. I kept walking with the open brew on the opposite side of me from the cops. A Shoreline employee caught me, but instead of taking the brew from me, she told me to "chug it, FAST!" and told me to watch out for the cops. This shit just got taken up another notch.
We got to the gate and didn't see Z-brah anywhere. We worried that he could be at the other gate, and just when I started walking over it he appeared in pleated khakis and a pink button-up. Now we were jamming, but shit! That was definitely McD singing. 7:48. We got in there and make a jamline straight to the lawn and entered the amphitheater during a crucial track. Pretty much the best song to enter a concert during, but I don't want to spoil anything. The lingering fear in the back of my mind was how much McD did we miss!?!?*
This place was bigger than I'd ever imagined. The lawn itself was like a city of jam cadets in training. The seated section looked far away and unattainable. Populating the stage were specks. Where were my glasses at? Oh, I had them on already. Yes, that shit was far away. You could look at one of the many screens and switch back and forth to the stage to deduce who was who. We stood at the front center of the lawn, just to try to size up the situation and creep into this world. But then McD started talking and I was entranced. This was it! This was Michael McDonald talking. And the next song..........HOLY FUCK.
So after he started doing the inevitable Motown crap, we started looking for a place to set up camp. I started calling the people from other cars to try and meet up. Virginia had a heck of a time finding me because I really did look EXACTLY like half the males there. Flowing beach shirt, light shorts, boat shoes with no socks. Eventually the 13 of us met up and found our little lawn spot. There were some yacht rock dudes sitting near us too, but mainly it was 50-somethings sitting on blankets.
We lit up a joint or two and just jammed some McD as the sunlight waned. Danced a little bit to some McMotown cheesiness. Bought a 24 ounce ten dollar beer. Then out of nowhere an upper lever hammjamm broke out. A crucial track started. A couple of us got up and started dancing so hard and so smooth. I started high fiving everyone around me, and for some reason the people sitting down all thought I was trying to take their hand to get them up for dancing. So I just kept at it, and all of sudden there were twenty of us just dancing. Really, really into it. And could you believe it? The middle-aged people around us didn't get annoyed and try to tell us to sit down (at this point we were pretty much the only people dancing on the lawn). NO! They got up and started dancing too. So it was just spreading throughout the lawn until McD hit us so hard with another song. Everybody was just screaming and the lawn was on fire. People were just dancing so hard- singing along. When I was looking for a setlist later on, I found this on some blog-
Half way through the set, I left my assigned seat and went up to the lawn where it sounded much fuller and there was actually much more crowd energy and vibe.
We did it.
So McD finally finished after we just about couldn't take it anymore (the ending was exhausting- a strange medley of sorts). We had to recharge. I went to buy some more beers and take a leak. When I returned to the lawn, people were just hangin' out and smokin' and just loving life so much. It was probably the only time I've ever been to a concert where I was startled when the next band took the stage.
The crowd starting cheering and we were like OH SHIT I GUESS STEELY DAN'S ABOUT TO START WHAT THE FUCK MCD JUST ALMOST KILLED ME AND I ALMOST---ALMOST FORGOT STEELY DAN WAS PLAYING. So everyone but Becker and Fagan came out and just started a jazz jam. There was nothing we could do but jam along. Jazzdance. Then Becker and Fagan came out and they launched into the consensus worst Dan song. Time for more brews. Time for more recuperation from McD. But the songs got much, much, much better. Some songs I didn't know, some ultimate hits, some rad non-hits. We are just jamming and smoking and dancing and congratulating each other and the rest of the crowd and Steely Dan on a night to remember.
They broke into a song I wasn't too crazy about, so I decided to take it in from the back end of the lawn. Couldn't really even see the stage. Maybe it was time for another piss. I made my way accross the lawn and realized how dark it was. Nobody was really that close to me, so I just took a piss right there on the lawn and just acted like I was jamming it to Steely Dan. Completely out in the open in front of thousands of people. It was a unique sensation.
I tried to buy another beer but they'd cut everyone off. Oh well. I had a flight at 9am the next morning, and I was already going pretty great so no big whoop. My next bright idea was to try and sneak into the seated section, which was a cinch. I went all the way to the second row of second level of seating and took in some killer Dan. What happened next was something I believe to be exclusive to the bay area show, so I'll divulge this one little strange detail: Bonnie Raitt came out and sang "Dirty Work." What?! Yes.
What happened next made me so excited that I had to be back on the lawn with my brethren. I tore out of those seats and RAN up to our spot. This took about five minutes, no joke. That's how far away the lawn was. But hell, at this point it was just free flowing ultimate mindblows and taking it past the limit. When the last song was being played, I felt a little sad that it was over, but what a night.
What a god damn rad fucking night.
*Turns out we missed only one song.
Sorry for the delay. I had to hit the Ritz Carlton in Phoenix the morning after McDan. What a trip! But that's another story and another post. Here's what you've been waiting for--
5 o' clock rolled around and it was time to start seriously jamming. Should I change into my light blue shorts and beach shirt in my office bathroom. Fuck no, if anyone saw me on the elevator afterwards they'd think I was fucking crazy. Maybe they already do. I decided to take a whiz even though I didn't have to because when you're about the enter a serious hammjamm, having to piss only deters the jam. One can't be bothered by anything except awesome things like whistling, smooth attitudes, drinkin', eatin', smokin', relaxin', relagin', ragin', and of course- jammin'.
My ears popped as I shot down the 27 floors in that elevator. Good deal, ears. Now I had pristine audio straight to the mind. Brah, Thrill, and this dude Jason were waiting for me outside. Thrill and Jason were looking pretty smooth. Thrill had on some shorts and a nice button-up buttoned-down and some tassled loafers. Jason looked pretty similar, and he gave off a smooth vibe. I had never met the dude before but he turned out to be a nice addition to the evening. Brah fucked up and wore jeans and some kinda black dr. martins shit and a normal-ass looking button-up shirt. "Is that what you're wearing?" Brah didn't really say much in his excuse effort and just knew how to smooth everything over with me. He held out a TWO FOOT LONG HOMEMADE PARTY SUB. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
This dude just took this trip up a notch from its already far too lofty expectations.
We strolled to Marj's car and she wass waiting for us with the vehicle running. We piled up the car (we're going to jam tonight), and after a not-so-quick stop for beer and chips, we were off. Let me tell you if you don't already know: San Francisco is possibly the weirder weather place in the known world. A typical summer day is in the 60's (nice, but it's total bullshit to have to wear a jacket most nights during the summer). As we drove out of the city, the temp ratcheted up to normal summer weather. I'm talking, you drive ten miles out of the city and it's ten degrees warmer. So now it was 80 degrees all of sudden, stuck in traffic. Brah already handed me a beer, we're already jammin' Can't Buy A Thrill, but that wasn't enough. I changed clothes in the passenger seat and now, NOW, I was in full jam mode. No lookin' back.
We were jammin' a little too hard, and we totally got lost. Where the hell were we? Where was the Shoreline Amphitheater? Fuck, where was the city of Mountain View? We stopped at a gas station to take some pisses and get some advice. The dude pointed Marj in the direction of Mountain View. We done passed it,and were on the wrong fucking freeway to begin with. Shit. We turned around and barreled down the road according the the gas station dude's directions. We found the road to Mountain View, but how the hell would we get to the Shoreline? I started blasting some McD and hoped his voice would lead us. No Lookin' Back. We saw an exit for Amphitheater Parkway. Takin' to the Streets. We saw the Amphitheater itself. Minute by Minute. We found the free parking lot and did it. We made it.
We rolled down the windows and blasted that shit. Started chugging some beers. Brah broke open the party sub and poured some shroom dust on part of it. Brah and I powered that shroom sub. Sounded like a band was playing, but it was only 7:15. I checked my ticket. McD at 7:30. Kinda sounded like McD though. We started getting a bit anxious and I called Z-brah, who I needed to meet up with to give him his ticket. He was almost there. We kept jammin' that parking lot. 7:30. Z-brah had parked, but it turned out they were in a different lot. Shit on a brick. We grabbed the rest of the brews and headed to the front gate to meet him. On the way there some cops were lookin' for people with brews--- THAT'S ME. I had a pretty full one so I decided to play cards with Satan. I kept walking with the open brew on the opposite side of me from the cops. A Shoreline employee caught me, but instead of taking the brew from me, she told me to "chug it, FAST!" and told me to watch out for the cops. This shit just got taken up another notch.
We got to the gate and didn't see Z-brah anywhere. We worried that he could be at the other gate, and just when I started walking over it he appeared in pleated khakis and a pink button-up. Now we were jamming, but shit! That was definitely McD singing. 7:48. We got in there and make a jamline straight to the lawn and entered the amphitheater during a crucial track. Pretty much the best song to enter a concert during, but I don't want to spoil anything. The lingering fear in the back of my mind was how much McD did we miss!?!?*
This place was bigger than I'd ever imagined. The lawn itself was like a city of jam cadets in training. The seated section looked far away and unattainable. Populating the stage were specks. Where were my glasses at? Oh, I had them on already. Yes, that shit was far away. You could look at one of the many screens and switch back and forth to the stage to deduce who was who. We stood at the front center of the lawn, just to try to size up the situation and creep into this world. But then McD started talking and I was entranced. This was it! This was Michael McDonald talking. And the next song..........HOLY FUCK.
So after he started doing the inevitable Motown crap, we started looking for a place to set up camp. I started calling the people from other cars to try and meet up. Virginia had a heck of a time finding me because I really did look EXACTLY like half the males there. Flowing beach shirt, light shorts, boat shoes with no socks. Eventually the 13 of us met up and found our little lawn spot. There were some yacht rock dudes sitting near us too, but mainly it was 50-somethings sitting on blankets.
We lit up a joint or two and just jammed some McD as the sunlight waned. Danced a little bit to some McMotown cheesiness. Bought a 24 ounce ten dollar beer. Then out of nowhere an upper lever hammjamm broke out. A crucial track started. A couple of us got up and started dancing so hard and so smooth. I started high fiving everyone around me, and for some reason the people sitting down all thought I was trying to take their hand to get them up for dancing. So I just kept at it, and all of sudden there were twenty of us just dancing. Really, really into it. And could you believe it? The middle-aged people around us didn't get annoyed and try to tell us to sit down (at this point we were pretty much the only people dancing on the lawn). NO! They got up and started dancing too. So it was just spreading throughout the lawn until McD hit us so hard with another song. Everybody was just screaming and the lawn was on fire. People were just dancing so hard- singing along. When I was looking for a setlist later on, I found this on some blog-
Half way through the set, I left my assigned seat and went up to the lawn where it sounded much fuller and there was actually much more crowd energy and vibe.
We did it.
So McD finally finished after we just about couldn't take it anymore (the ending was exhausting- a strange medley of sorts). We had to recharge. I went to buy some more beers and take a leak. When I returned to the lawn, people were just hangin' out and smokin' and just loving life so much. It was probably the only time I've ever been to a concert where I was startled when the next band took the stage.
The crowd starting cheering and we were like OH SHIT I GUESS STEELY DAN'S ABOUT TO START WHAT THE FUCK MCD JUST ALMOST KILLED ME AND I ALMOST---ALMOST FORGOT STEELY DAN WAS PLAYING. So everyone but Becker and Fagan came out and just started a jazz jam. There was nothing we could do but jam along. Jazzdance. Then Becker and Fagan came out and they launched into the consensus worst Dan song. Time for more brews. Time for more recuperation from McD. But the songs got much, much, much better. Some songs I didn't know, some ultimate hits, some rad non-hits. We are just jamming and smoking and dancing and congratulating each other and the rest of the crowd and Steely Dan on a night to remember.
They broke into a song I wasn't too crazy about, so I decided to take it in from the back end of the lawn. Couldn't really even see the stage. Maybe it was time for another piss. I made my way accross the lawn and realized how dark it was. Nobody was really that close to me, so I just took a piss right there on the lawn and just acted like I was jamming it to Steely Dan. Completely out in the open in front of thousands of people. It was a unique sensation.
I tried to buy another beer but they'd cut everyone off. Oh well. I had a flight at 9am the next morning, and I was already going pretty great so no big whoop. My next bright idea was to try and sneak into the seated section, which was a cinch. I went all the way to the second row of second level of seating and took in some killer Dan. What happened next was something I believe to be exclusive to the bay area show, so I'll divulge this one little strange detail: Bonnie Raitt came out and sang "Dirty Work." What?! Yes.
What happened next made me so excited that I had to be back on the lawn with my brethren. I tore out of those seats and RAN up to our spot. This took about five minutes, no joke. That's how far away the lawn was. But hell, at this point it was just free flowing ultimate mindblows and taking it past the limit. When the last song was being played, I felt a little sad that it was over, but what a night.
What a god damn rad fucking night.
*Turns out we missed only one song.
