Friday, March 31, 2006
everyone's a hippie today in Boston
The Day is AWESOME in Boston today. It's 70 degrees and sunnin', real-life t-shirt and shorts weather at last, and none of that fucked up "it's 40 degrees and finally above freezing so I'm wearin' a tank-top" type of shit that happens in towns with five-month winters. It couldn't've happened at a better time, as today is my sched-flexing half-a-day, when I whisk outta here at noon to go do the radio nonsense. Normally I head straight to Allsto and eat some pancakes and buy some comics, but today I might pop off at the park and see what's happening at the common. I imagine what's happening will be Irish kids trying to sell me roasted peanuts, and besuited business dudes eating hot-dogs on park benches whilst homeless folk lay passed-out face-down on the grass not twenty feet away. And also a bountiful bonanza of sack-hackin'. Hair flowing in the breeze and flowers engulfing all o' creation and such shit. Spring's here finally, and that's about the only thing that can keep me away from my pancakes.
The Day is AWESOME in Boston today. It's 70 degrees and sunnin', real-life t-shirt and shorts weather at last, and none of that fucked up "it's 40 degrees and finally above freezing so I'm wearin' a tank-top" type of shit that happens in towns with five-month winters. It couldn't've happened at a better time, as today is my sched-flexing half-a-day, when I whisk outta here at noon to go do the radio nonsense. Normally I head straight to Allsto and eat some pancakes and buy some comics, but today I might pop off at the park and see what's happening at the common. I imagine what's happening will be Irish kids trying to sell me roasted peanuts, and besuited business dudes eating hot-dogs on park benches whilst homeless folk lay passed-out face-down on the grass not twenty feet away. And also a bountiful bonanza of sack-hackin'. Hair flowing in the breeze and flowers engulfing all o' creation and such shit. Spring's here finally, and that's about the only thing that can keep me away from my pancakes.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
more on the mp3 page
Okay, Emerson posted an update on the mp3 page a couple days ago, and I did a very minor redesign this afternoon, so maybe you'll want to go take a quick gander. I hope to have another post up tonight or tomorrow.
Also, if anybody with any design skills wants to make up a logo for that page, we'd be very appreciative. Very appreciative.
Okay, Emerson posted an update on the mp3 page a couple days ago, and I did a very minor redesign this afternoon, so maybe you'll want to go take a quick gander. I hope to have another post up tonight or tomorrow.
Also, if anybody with any design skills wants to make up a logo for that page, we'd be very appreciative. Very appreciative.
for the last time
So for the first time a song has reached the top of the UK charts due to on-line sales. That song? "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley, which of course is a project coordinated by former WUOG dj Brian "Danger Mouse" Burton. That guy used to answer the phones for us on Head to Head sometimes, and now he's some sort of superstar, or something.
Alright, so this is it: short of becoming president (or assassinating him, or erecting a bridge using nothing but willpower, or something), nothing Burton does in the future will lead to any special notice on this website. Not that his success isn't awesome and entirely well-deserved; it's just that I for some reason have felt the need to mention that he used to dj after our stupid unfunny comedy show every single time I hear of whatever new, exciting, amazing thing he's doing. It's getting old, and so it stops now. Thanks.
So for the first time a song has reached the top of the UK charts due to on-line sales. That song? "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley, which of course is a project coordinated by former WUOG dj Brian "Danger Mouse" Burton. That guy used to answer the phones for us on Head to Head sometimes, and now he's some sort of superstar, or something.
Alright, so this is it: short of becoming president (or assassinating him, or erecting a bridge using nothing but willpower, or something), nothing Burton does in the future will lead to any special notice on this website. Not that his success isn't awesome and entirely well-deserved; it's just that I for some reason have felt the need to mention that he used to dj after our stupid unfunny comedy show every single time I hear of whatever new, exciting, amazing thing he's doing. It's getting old, and so it stops now. Thanks.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
holy hell, an extension update
Emerson put a new post up on the mp3 extension last night. It's a good one. Hopefully I'll stop being the laziest man alive and get some more posts up this week. We're also redesigning that site, too, so please excuse its current blandness.
Emerson put a new post up on the mp3 extension last night. It's a good one. Hopefully I'll stop being the laziest man alive and get some more posts up this week. We're also redesigning that site, too, so please excuse its current blandness.
reading your own reviews
Former Liberian president/dictator Charles Taylor has disappeared from his compound in Nigeria, where he's lived in exile since 2003. Over the weekend Nigeria agreed to hand him over to Libera so he could face a war crimes tribunal. This all comes hot on the heels of Jon Lee Anderson's recent New Yorker profile of Liberia's recently elected president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who, at the time of Anderson's writing, had yet to call for Taylor's extradition back to Liberia.
From Anderson's article in last week's New Yorker:
Makes you wonder: if Anderson hadn't mentioned this aspect of the commission's charge, would Taylor have fled extradition to Liberia? Do deposed African despots regularly read the New Yorker, or only their own notices?
Former Liberian president/dictator Charles Taylor has disappeared from his compound in Nigeria, where he's lived in exile since 2003. Over the weekend Nigeria agreed to hand him over to Libera so he could face a war crimes tribunal. This all comes hot on the heels of Jon Lee Anderson's recent New Yorker profile of Liberia's recently elected president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who, at the time of Anderson's writing, had yet to call for Taylor's extradition back to Liberia.
From Anderson's article in last week's New Yorker:
"The ceasefire agreement provided for a Truth and Reconciliation Commission to look into war crimes. When Johnson Sirleaf speaks about the commission, she conspicuously avoids mentioning that it has the power to recommend criminal prosecutions - a fact that is not yet widely known in Libera. When I talk to politicians with ties to Taylor, it was clear that they believed the commission would instead amount to a kind of public exorcism, in which people would own up to what they had done and be pardoned."
Makes you wonder: if Anderson hadn't mentioned this aspect of the commission's charge, would Taylor have fled extradition to Liberia? Do deposed African despots regularly read the New Yorker, or only their own notices?
so that's pretty much it for Arrested Development, then
Things were looking good on the Showtime front, but now creator / showrunner Mitch Hurwitz has decided he won't be returning. Showtime had said previously that any deal hinged on Hurwitz remaining. Episodes without Hurwitz's involvment are not just unlikely but also probably unnecessary. The prospect of new episodes has always been a nice thought, but that Friday night block in February felt so final, and offered enough closure, that I'm now mostly fine with the show's demise. Still sucks, yeah, but it was great while it lasted.
Things were looking good on the Showtime front, but now creator / showrunner Mitch Hurwitz has decided he won't be returning. Showtime had said previously that any deal hinged on Hurwitz remaining. Episodes without Hurwitz's involvment are not just unlikely but also probably unnecessary. The prospect of new episodes has always been a nice thought, but that Friday night block in February felt so final, and offered enough closure, that I'm now mostly fine with the show's demise. Still sucks, yeah, but it was great while it lasted.
I bought this shit
LOOK AT THIS COVER. Yes, it is awesome. Yes, it demands attention. And yes, whatever music contained within must be worth $4.99 (plus 7% tax). So I bought it last night. And listened to it later last night. And enjoyed it last night at the exact same time in which I was listening to it. Enjoyment concurrent to listening. That's pleasant. But so, it's kinda heavy, late '60's, acidy blues-rock, not too far off from Iron Butterfly, which is rather common-sensical, since Butterfly guitarist Danny Weiss is/was a member. It ain't as extreme as Blue Cheer, or as sludgical as Vanilla Fudge, but if you're looking for some hard spectral jammin' and stuff that sounds sorta slightly like "Frankenstein", then this Rhino's worth "horning" in to your collection, HAHAHA!
Also purchased The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter, by the Incredible String Band. This is the fourth record I've bought by these enthusiastic beard-growers, the first in five years, and after two halves of a listen I feel confident in calling it the best that I've heard. I've always sorta liked what I've had, but not emphatically, and felt it mostly kind of slight and flighty. Lacking in substance, you know? But I'm thinking perhaps I didn't buy the right stuff, as previous acquisitions were based exclusively on cheapness and not research. Like, oh, Incredible String Band live for a buck. Or Hard Rope and Silken Twine for $2.99. Etc. And both of those are okay, but not revelatory. I wouldn't call Hagman's Beautiful Daughter a revelation, really, but the first side, which I spun twice last night, is far more transfixing than I Looked Up, right? Whereas that and Silken Twine are nice, if not lively, recreations of old folk tunes, there's this weird gauzy atmosphere surrounding Daughter that imbues these songs with a degree of odd other-worldliness, like that sort of chimey, gossamer drone you hear on Animal Collective's Campefire Songs or in the Charalambides. I listened to side one twice without ever flipping it over, it was so engrossing. It's a good thing to listen to while reading Doctor Strange, too.
In additionally, I grabbed the Newmster's Good Old Boys for a buck. It's great, for sure. For sure 'cuz I haven't listened to it yet. But I am doubtless. Randy Newman shines immaculately, impeccably, and eternally.
LOOK AT THIS COVER. Yes, it is awesome. Yes, it demands attention. And yes, whatever music contained within must be worth $4.99 (plus 7% tax). So I bought it last night. And listened to it later last night. And enjoyed it last night at the exact same time in which I was listening to it. Enjoyment concurrent to listening. That's pleasant. But so, it's kinda heavy, late '60's, acidy blues-rock, not too far off from Iron Butterfly, which is rather common-sensical, since Butterfly guitarist Danny Weiss is/was a member. It ain't as extreme as Blue Cheer, or as sludgical as Vanilla Fudge, but if you're looking for some hard spectral jammin' and stuff that sounds sorta slightly like "Frankenstein", then this Rhino's worth "horning" in to your collection, HAHAHA!
Also purchased The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter, by the Incredible String Band. This is the fourth record I've bought by these enthusiastic beard-growers, the first in five years, and after two halves of a listen I feel confident in calling it the best that I've heard. I've always sorta liked what I've had, but not emphatically, and felt it mostly kind of slight and flighty. Lacking in substance, you know? But I'm thinking perhaps I didn't buy the right stuff, as previous acquisitions were based exclusively on cheapness and not research. Like, oh, Incredible String Band live for a buck. Or Hard Rope and Silken Twine for $2.99. Etc. And both of those are okay, but not revelatory. I wouldn't call Hagman's Beautiful Daughter a revelation, really, but the first side, which I spun twice last night, is far more transfixing than I Looked Up, right? Whereas that and Silken Twine are nice, if not lively, recreations of old folk tunes, there's this weird gauzy atmosphere surrounding Daughter that imbues these songs with a degree of odd other-worldliness, like that sort of chimey, gossamer drone you hear on Animal Collective's Campefire Songs or in the Charalambides. I listened to side one twice without ever flipping it over, it was so engrossing. It's a good thing to listen to while reading Doctor Strange, too.
In additionally, I grabbed the Newmster's Good Old Boys for a buck. It's great, for sure. For sure 'cuz I haven't listened to it yet. But I am doubtless. Randy Newman shines immaculately, impeccably, and eternally.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Enjoyable Bidness: Four Things I Liked
In the world of cinema, there exists a film called V For Vendetta, which is quite well-versed at exceeding expectations. Based on the highly regarded comic book that I read four issues of at work last week, Vendetta totally sounded like something I'd fuckin' detest as fervently as possible. Why, you say? Well 'cuz every other adaptation of an Alan Moore (not my wife, the other one) comic has sucked awesomely, and 'cuz them Wachowski Bros are supreme shit-merchants of this careless digital age. Also early script snippets I read on-line were miserable, too. But so the finished product ain't too bad, really, and is actually fairly good. It looks amazing, the acting is generally fine, and the central theme of the comic wasn't fucked with too egregiously. The big bang at the end was maybe a bit too self-indulgently action film-esque, and added little to the resolution other than that visceral fist-pumping, they-blowed-it-up-quite-good moment that was no doubt mandated and stipulated by producer Joel "not-Ron" Silver. And the case can be made that, if the culture being saved and preserved is typified by Cat Power and Antony and the Johnsons, then perhaps fascist totalitarian dictatorships ain't so bad afterall. Still, an enjoyable romp with just a little bit more behind it than most action flicks, but still suitably idiotic and addle-brained enough to entertain intellectually inert dumbasses like me.
Moving on to the tv. Not a hi-def tv, unfortunately, but tv nonetheless. Last night's Gervais-written ep. of the Simpsons was sterling. Not a classic, or anything, but definitely a highlight of the last eight or so seasons. Granted the funniest bits were Gervais basically being himself and/or David Brent, but there was enough good stuff happening outside of (and in addition to) the Gervaisity that this episode was easily approaching a level approaching greatness. A fine half-hour well-spent.
Musically, I gotta strongly recommend the new album from Parts and Labor, entitled Stay Afraid. It comes out on Brah/Jagjaguwar sometime in the next coupla weeks. These dudes have been thrilling me constantly for a couple years now, and with Stay Afraid said thrills might just be fuckin' lethal. If you think Trans Am would be better served by rockin' out full-force 100% of the time, you might dig Parts and Labor. The kid at the station what reviewed the album compared 'em to Husker Du, which really ain't right at all, exceptin' the similarity in energy levels and general rambunctiousness. I don't get any pissed feeilng from P&L, though, whereas that was like 90% of the Husker Doeuvre.
Finally, in regard to comic books, that most noble and agreeable of human communication, let us discuss the sheer beauteousness of Frank Espinosa's Rocketo. The story ain't so hot, really, and it often reads like an awkward translation from a foreign language (it most assuredly ain't), but the art's just so god-damned beatiful that I can't muster the nerve to knock it. The whole island-hopping, a-venturin'-we-go milieu is fine and intriguing, but the dialogue is almost always kinda weird and stilted, and the typos fly as often as Spiro Turnstiles' fists. Still, the rich, startlingly kinetic drawings more than split the difference. Borrow some dude's copy and take a quick gander, it's well worth it.
In the world of cinema, there exists a film called V For Vendetta, which is quite well-versed at exceeding expectations. Based on the highly regarded comic book that I read four issues of at work last week, Vendetta totally sounded like something I'd fuckin' detest as fervently as possible. Why, you say? Well 'cuz every other adaptation of an Alan Moore (not my wife, the other one) comic has sucked awesomely, and 'cuz them Wachowski Bros are supreme shit-merchants of this careless digital age. Also early script snippets I read on-line were miserable, too. But so the finished product ain't too bad, really, and is actually fairly good. It looks amazing, the acting is generally fine, and the central theme of the comic wasn't fucked with too egregiously. The big bang at the end was maybe a bit too self-indulgently action film-esque, and added little to the resolution other than that visceral fist-pumping, they-blowed-it-up-quite-good moment that was no doubt mandated and stipulated by producer Joel "not-Ron" Silver. And the case can be made that, if the culture being saved and preserved is typified by Cat Power and Antony and the Johnsons, then perhaps fascist totalitarian dictatorships ain't so bad afterall. Still, an enjoyable romp with just a little bit more behind it than most action flicks, but still suitably idiotic and addle-brained enough to entertain intellectually inert dumbasses like me.
Moving on to the tv. Not a hi-def tv, unfortunately, but tv nonetheless. Last night's Gervais-written ep. of the Simpsons was sterling. Not a classic, or anything, but definitely a highlight of the last eight or so seasons. Granted the funniest bits were Gervais basically being himself and/or David Brent, but there was enough good stuff happening outside of (and in addition to) the Gervaisity that this episode was easily approaching a level approaching greatness. A fine half-hour well-spent.
Musically, I gotta strongly recommend the new album from Parts and Labor, entitled Stay Afraid. It comes out on Brah/Jagjaguwar sometime in the next coupla weeks. These dudes have been thrilling me constantly for a couple years now, and with Stay Afraid said thrills might just be fuckin' lethal. If you think Trans Am would be better served by rockin' out full-force 100% of the time, you might dig Parts and Labor. The kid at the station what reviewed the album compared 'em to Husker Du, which really ain't right at all, exceptin' the similarity in energy levels and general rambunctiousness. I don't get any pissed feeilng from P&L, though, whereas that was like 90% of the Husker Doeuvre.
Finally, in regard to comic books, that most noble and agreeable of human communication, let us discuss the sheer beauteousness of Frank Espinosa's Rocketo. The story ain't so hot, really, and it often reads like an awkward translation from a foreign language (it most assuredly ain't), but the art's just so god-damned beatiful that I can't muster the nerve to knock it. The whole island-hopping, a-venturin'-we-go milieu is fine and intriguing, but the dialogue is almost always kinda weird and stilted, and the typos fly as often as Spiro Turnstiles' fists. Still, the rich, startlingly kinetic drawings more than split the difference. Borrow some dude's copy and take a quick gander, it's well worth it.
apparently Nikki Sudden died over the weekend.
Which is really pretty awful. Here's a thread at ILM that seems believable enough. I've never heard much of his solo stuff, but those Swell Maps albums are awesome.
Didn't Griggs play drums with him at some point last year?
UPDATE: Here's Billboard's obituary.
Which is really pretty awful. Here's a thread at ILM that seems believable enough. I've never heard much of his solo stuff, but those Swell Maps albums are awesome.
Didn't Griggs play drums with him at some point last year?
UPDATE: Here's Billboard's obituary.
and now I bore you to death with fantasy baseball junk
Here's one hell of a useless post. I had three drafts this weekend. I let the computer draft 70% of one team, but the other two drafts were all me. Here's what I got:
IMPLEMENTATION FORCE (Baseball Moguls of America; two keepers, five franchisers)
C: Kenji Johjima
1B: Paul Konkero
2B: Chone Figgens +
3B: David Wright +
SS: Bobby Crosby +
OF: Bobby Abreu *
OF: Brian Giles
OF: Aubrey Huff
UT: Magglio Ordonez
BN: Mike Jacobs
BN: Ryan Doumit
BN: Ronny Cedeno
BN: Bill Mueller
BN: Alexis Rios
SP: Johan Santana +
SP: Pedro Martinez *
SP: Rich Harden +
SP: Brad Radke
SP: David Bush
RP: Derrick Turnbow
RP: Duaner Sanchez
RP: Todd Coffey
P: Aaron Heilman
P: Fernando Rodney
P: Oscar Villarreal
ARMY PARTY (AD&D Baseball 3rd Ed.; two keepers)
C: Brian McCann
1B: Richie Sexson
2B: Brian Roberts
3B: Eric Chavez
SS: JJ Hardy
OF: Aubrey Huff
OF: JD Drew
OF: Jermaine Dye
UT: Curtis Granderson
BN: Trot Nixon
BN: Wily Mo Pena
BN: Orlando Hudson
BN: Ryan Doumit
BN: Ronny Cedeno
SP: Johan Santana *
SP: Carlos Zambrano *
SP: Chris Carpenter
SP: Jose Contreras
RP: Eric Gagne
RP: Bob Wickman
P: Derek Lowe
P: David Bush
P: Oscar Villarreal
P: Vicente Padilla
CHOCOLATE KUEGELHOPF (I Love Baseball 2006) (mostly autodraft)
C: Brian McCann
1B: Prince Fielder
2B: Felipe Lopez
3B: Morgan Ensberg
SS: Omar Vizquel
OF: Brian Giles
OF: Pat Burrell
OF: Magglio Ordonez
UT: Travis Hafner
BN: Casey Kotchman
BN: Craig Wilson
BN: Stephen Drew
BN: Connor Jackson
SP: Roy Oswalt
SP: Ervin Santana
RP: Ambiorix Burgos
RP: David Weathers
P: Derek Lowe
P: David Bush
P: Jon Papelbon
P: Blaine Boyer
*: keeper
+: franchiser (player acquired with rookie eligibility)
As you can see, I'm a firm believer in David Bush.
Here's one hell of a useless post. I had three drafts this weekend. I let the computer draft 70% of one team, but the other two drafts were all me. Here's what I got:
IMPLEMENTATION FORCE (Baseball Moguls of America; two keepers, five franchisers)
C: Kenji Johjima
1B: Paul Konkero
2B: Chone Figgens +
3B: David Wright +
SS: Bobby Crosby +
OF: Bobby Abreu *
OF: Brian Giles
OF: Aubrey Huff
UT: Magglio Ordonez
BN: Mike Jacobs
BN: Ryan Doumit
BN: Ronny Cedeno
BN: Bill Mueller
BN: Alexis Rios
SP: Johan Santana +
SP: Pedro Martinez *
SP: Rich Harden +
SP: Brad Radke
SP: David Bush
RP: Derrick Turnbow
RP: Duaner Sanchez
RP: Todd Coffey
P: Aaron Heilman
P: Fernando Rodney
P: Oscar Villarreal
ARMY PARTY (AD&D Baseball 3rd Ed.; two keepers)
C: Brian McCann
1B: Richie Sexson
2B: Brian Roberts
3B: Eric Chavez
SS: JJ Hardy
OF: Aubrey Huff
OF: JD Drew
OF: Jermaine Dye
UT: Curtis Granderson
BN: Trot Nixon
BN: Wily Mo Pena
BN: Orlando Hudson
BN: Ryan Doumit
BN: Ronny Cedeno
SP: Johan Santana *
SP: Carlos Zambrano *
SP: Chris Carpenter
SP: Jose Contreras
RP: Eric Gagne
RP: Bob Wickman
P: Derek Lowe
P: David Bush
P: Oscar Villarreal
P: Vicente Padilla
CHOCOLATE KUEGELHOPF (I Love Baseball 2006) (mostly autodraft)
C: Brian McCann
1B: Prince Fielder
2B: Felipe Lopez
3B: Morgan Ensberg
SS: Omar Vizquel
OF: Brian Giles
OF: Pat Burrell
OF: Magglio Ordonez
UT: Travis Hafner
BN: Casey Kotchman
BN: Craig Wilson
BN: Stephen Drew
BN: Connor Jackson
SP: Roy Oswalt
SP: Ervin Santana
RP: Ambiorix Burgos
RP: David Weathers
P: Derek Lowe
P: David Bush
P: Jon Papelbon
P: Blaine Boyer
*: keeper
+: franchiser (player acquired with rookie eligibility)
As you can see, I'm a firm believer in David Bush.
Friday, March 24, 2006
radiooidar
Okay, you know the drill: Mesmerization Eclipse on WZBC 90.3 FM, today from 3 to 5 pm.
There'll be tons o' great stuff from folks like Magma, Henry Cow, Endless Boogie, new Young People, Portastatic, etc., etc. Typical shit from this old asshole. Wait, I didn't mean that in a gross way.
I might also talk about why this new comic book I bought today is perhaps the absolute worst thing ever created by mankind. And yes, I'm talking about Vandal Savage's pony-tail.
Okay, you know the drill: Mesmerization Eclipse on WZBC 90.3 FM, today from 3 to 5 pm.
There'll be tons o' great stuff from folks like Magma, Henry Cow, Endless Boogie, new Young People, Portastatic, etc., etc. Typical shit from this old asshole. Wait, I didn't mean that in a gross way.
I might also talk about why this new comic book I bought today is perhaps the absolute worst thing ever created by mankind. And yes, I'm talking about Vandal Savage's pony-tail.
finger pointing
As in we'll show you the way.
Ice wrote a new unrealized script. I helped out a little bit. You can read it at Unrealized Scripts. Neither of us have seen Crash.
Also, until DJ gets his review up, you can read my thoughts on the new Liars album in this week's issue of the Flagpole. It's probably better than I make it sound.
Finally, I ain't up on my Gerber enough to write a Howard the Duck, but I did just buy his last twelve or so issues of The Defenders on eBay last night. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
As in we'll show you the way.
Ice wrote a new unrealized script. I helped out a little bit. You can read it at Unrealized Scripts. Neither of us have seen Crash.
Also, until DJ gets his review up, you can read my thoughts on the new Liars album in this week's issue of the Flagpole. It's probably better than I make it sound.
Finally, I ain't up on my Gerber enough to write a Howard the Duck, but I did just buy his last twelve or so issues of The Defenders on eBay last night. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
Monday, March 20, 2006
cinematic shit avalanche
We saw a movie for the first time ever this weekend. First time ever since November. In a theater. That time it was Walk the Line. This time it was CSA: Confederate States of America. One was good enough to win some amount of Oscars. One was good enough to not have any reason to exist whatsoever. If we were long-forgotten Arctic explorers just thawed out from suspended animation, or perhaps creatures from a world far beyond our comprehension, and CSA was the first movie we ever watched, we would probably want to kill the movies with our crazy alien death-rays and/or icepicks.
CSA is another nail in the coffin of the mockumentary. It's a satirical look at the history of an America in which the South won the civil war, which is not an inherently bad idea, or anything. Slavery was never abolished, we conquered South and Central America, we aligned with the Nazis during WWII, we Pearl Harbored Japan before they could do it to us, and now the American Empire is isolated from the rest of the world. Somehow the Cold War happened between us and Canada. Anyway, it's framed as a Ken Burns-style documentary, with frequent commercial breaks supplying the most blatant attempts at humor. Of course all the products advertised - Niggerhair Tobacco, Coon Chicken Inn, Darkie Toothpaste - were real products, in some cases still being manufactured and advertised up into the 1980's. So not only is the film something of a reminder that the Confederacy didn't exactly have morality and goodness watching their backs, but also that, even in the real and supposedly freedom-loving America, race relations have been all sorts of fucked since, like, forever.
And, okay, yeah, well, duh!
Or maybe not. The wife, who hated the film far more than I did, hadn't heard of any of the products before, and was slightly surprised by them. And it can be helpful to remind yourself every now and again that, yeah, shit really was fuckin' nuts for a long while, far more nutsier than the still-sorta-screwed today. But the whole message, and the way in which it was delivered, makes the film suitable more for high school underclassmen than the grown New England liberals it's being exhibited to. If you haven't realized that black-white relations in this country have been eternally fucked since day-minus-one by the time you're eighteen, something somewhere is horribly amiss.
But so, the movie is truly awful, regardless of its intent. Such heavy-handedness, and iron-willed, resolute ham-fistedness! Absolutely nothing is subtle about this film. Its humor basically bludgeons you down into a lump on the ground. And the production values are sub-high-school level. Seriously, Walton High School Video Productions could have made more professional looking fake advertisements back in 1992. The actors playing the talking heads in the body of the documentary are okay, but every other actor is awful. Combine that with the fact that Ken Burns parodies stopped being original and/or funny in like 1991, and you're left with a film so poorly conceived and contrived that it's really quite staggering. Seriously, avoid the hell out of this one, friends.
We saw a movie for the first time ever this weekend. First time ever since November. In a theater. That time it was Walk the Line. This time it was CSA: Confederate States of America. One was good enough to win some amount of Oscars. One was good enough to not have any reason to exist whatsoever. If we were long-forgotten Arctic explorers just thawed out from suspended animation, or perhaps creatures from a world far beyond our comprehension, and CSA was the first movie we ever watched, we would probably want to kill the movies with our crazy alien death-rays and/or icepicks.
CSA is another nail in the coffin of the mockumentary. It's a satirical look at the history of an America in which the South won the civil war, which is not an inherently bad idea, or anything. Slavery was never abolished, we conquered South and Central America, we aligned with the Nazis during WWII, we Pearl Harbored Japan before they could do it to us, and now the American Empire is isolated from the rest of the world. Somehow the Cold War happened between us and Canada. Anyway, it's framed as a Ken Burns-style documentary, with frequent commercial breaks supplying the most blatant attempts at humor. Of course all the products advertised - Niggerhair Tobacco, Coon Chicken Inn, Darkie Toothpaste - were real products, in some cases still being manufactured and advertised up into the 1980's. So not only is the film something of a reminder that the Confederacy didn't exactly have morality and goodness watching their backs, but also that, even in the real and supposedly freedom-loving America, race relations have been all sorts of fucked since, like, forever.
And, okay, yeah, well, duh!
Or maybe not. The wife, who hated the film far more than I did, hadn't heard of any of the products before, and was slightly surprised by them. And it can be helpful to remind yourself every now and again that, yeah, shit really was fuckin' nuts for a long while, far more nutsier than the still-sorta-screwed today. But the whole message, and the way in which it was delivered, makes the film suitable more for high school underclassmen than the grown New England liberals it's being exhibited to. If you haven't realized that black-white relations in this country have been eternally fucked since day-minus-one by the time you're eighteen, something somewhere is horribly amiss.
But so, the movie is truly awful, regardless of its intent. Such heavy-handedness, and iron-willed, resolute ham-fistedness! Absolutely nothing is subtle about this film. Its humor basically bludgeons you down into a lump on the ground. And the production values are sub-high-school level. Seriously, Walton High School Video Productions could have made more professional looking fake advertisements back in 1992. The actors playing the talking heads in the body of the documentary are okay, but every other actor is awful. Combine that with the fact that Ken Burns parodies stopped being original and/or funny in like 1991, and you're left with a film so poorly conceived and contrived that it's really quite staggering. Seriously, avoid the hell out of this one, friends.
Friday, March 17, 2006
the radio that was on the bump
Mesmerization Eclipse, WZBC, 3 to 5 pm.
Streams should be a-streamin'.
Mesmerization Eclipse, WZBC, 3 to 5 pm.
Streams should be a-streamin'.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
more huzzahs for mustachery
So, yes, this is total genius, and perhaps proof, once and for all, that LD does possess a more astounding brain than Joseph Abraham.
I fully endorse teamwide mustaching. Marcus Giles at least needs to grow one, if only in recompense for that horriffic thing he had growing on his chin a few years ago.
Speaking of Giles, does anybody else think he looks sort of like a real-life Rob Liefeld drawing?
So, yes, this is total genius, and perhaps proof, once and for all, that LD does possess a more astounding brain than Joseph Abraham.
I fully endorse teamwide mustaching. Marcus Giles at least needs to grow one, if only in recompense for that horriffic thing he had growing on his chin a few years ago.
Speaking of Giles, does anybody else think he looks sort of like a real-life Rob Liefeld drawing?
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I put my Lance face on
... and now I am hopelessly confused.
I'm sorry, but what the fuck is this site all about, then?
Yeah, yeah, focused, dedicated, determined, dependable, etc., but I fail to see how creepy disembodied athlete heads will get me to give you my money, American Century Investment Services, Inc.
... and now I am hopelessly confused.
I'm sorry, but what the fuck is this site all about, then?
Yeah, yeah, focused, dedicated, determined, dependable, etc., but I fail to see how creepy disembodied athlete heads will get me to give you my money, American Century Investment Services, Inc.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
The Gay Agenda
OK. This is funny. Take a look at this. It's a link to the schedule of my neighborhood movie theater. Take a close look at the showtimes. That liberal gay hollywood brainwashing machine at work.
OK. This is funny. Take a look at this. It's a link to the schedule of my neighborhood movie theater. Take a close look at the showtimes. That liberal gay hollywood brainwashing machine at work.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
please help with my fantasy
Gotta keep two of these three: Bobby Abreu, Pedro Martinez, Derrek Lee. Who should it be?
Take into consideration the franchisers they shall be joining: Johan Santana, Rich Harden, David Wright, Bobby Crosby, and Chone Figgens.
I'm leaning towards Abreu and Pedro. Lee may very well be the best of the three next year, but he's less predictable than Abreu, and I have strong faith in Pedro, wonky toe be damned.
Gotta keep two of these three: Bobby Abreu, Pedro Martinez, Derrek Lee. Who should it be?
Take into consideration the franchisers they shall be joining: Johan Santana, Rich Harden, David Wright, Bobby Crosby, and Chone Figgens.
I'm leaning towards Abreu and Pedro. Lee may very well be the best of the three next year, but he's less predictable than Abreu, and I have strong faith in Pedro, wonky toe be damned.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Memo to Tom Shales: You're Why People Hate Critics
I missed the first hour or so of the Oscars last night, so I've no idea how the monologue went. From what I did see, though, Jon Stewart seemed to do a fine job.
Of course, Tom Shales doesn't think so.
Who's Tom Shales? Why, he's the television critic for the Washington Times. He's also probably my least favorite critic of all time. Yes, worse than Michael Medved, Renee Graham, and any of the writers at the Boston Phoenix. Worse even than all of them combined. It's not that Shales is necessarily a bad writer, but that he permanently oozes that sort of smugness that has given critics a bad name. Also we disagree almost all the time. Wait, let me rephrase that: he's totally full of shit and has no idea what he's talking about, ever.
So in his Oscars review Shales tears Stewart apart, knocking not just Stewart himself but all of basic cable in the process. I'm not surprised; Shales was at the vanguard of Chris Rock-bashing after last year's Oscars. Rock wasn't great, but when you're being compared to Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal it'd be pretty difficult to not come out looking good. Although I remember a number of positive reviews the day after last year's show, it's apparently now common wisdom that Rock was awful and a flop and doesn't deserve to ever host the Oscars again. Shales, maybe the most prominent television critic in America, hated Rock as the host, and I assume this negative review is disproportionately responsible for the general dismissal of Rock's performance.
I suspect Jon Stewart's hosting gig will be widely viewed as a failure, too, despite a number of good reviews, and despite the fact that he kept me fairly well entertained during those few moments when he actually got to say something. And if this does occur, it might again be significantly because of Shales' review.
So what sort of host would Shales like to see, anyway? Exactly what you'd expect. In that Chris Rock review Shales writes, "perhaps Billy Crystal will come riding in on a white horse again and rescue the show with a zippy performance as host." 'Cuz that's all this interminably long and self-congratulatory vaccuum of a show needs, a miserable old hack plying schtick that'd make even Bob Hope grimace.
I missed the first hour or so of the Oscars last night, so I've no idea how the monologue went. From what I did see, though, Jon Stewart seemed to do a fine job.
Of course, Tom Shales doesn't think so.
Who's Tom Shales? Why, he's the television critic for the Washington Times. He's also probably my least favorite critic of all time. Yes, worse than Michael Medved, Renee Graham, and any of the writers at the Boston Phoenix. Worse even than all of them combined. It's not that Shales is necessarily a bad writer, but that he permanently oozes that sort of smugness that has given critics a bad name. Also we disagree almost all the time. Wait, let me rephrase that: he's totally full of shit and has no idea what he's talking about, ever.
So in his Oscars review Shales tears Stewart apart, knocking not just Stewart himself but all of basic cable in the process. I'm not surprised; Shales was at the vanguard of Chris Rock-bashing after last year's Oscars. Rock wasn't great, but when you're being compared to Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal it'd be pretty difficult to not come out looking good. Although I remember a number of positive reviews the day after last year's show, it's apparently now common wisdom that Rock was awful and a flop and doesn't deserve to ever host the Oscars again. Shales, maybe the most prominent television critic in America, hated Rock as the host, and I assume this negative review is disproportionately responsible for the general dismissal of Rock's performance.
I suspect Jon Stewart's hosting gig will be widely viewed as a failure, too, despite a number of good reviews, and despite the fact that he kept me fairly well entertained during those few moments when he actually got to say something. And if this does occur, it might again be significantly because of Shales' review.
So what sort of host would Shales like to see, anyway? Exactly what you'd expect. In that Chris Rock review Shales writes, "perhaps Billy Crystal will come riding in on a white horse again and rescue the show with a zippy performance as host." 'Cuz that's all this interminably long and self-congratulatory vaccuum of a show needs, a miserable old hack plying schtick that'd make even Bob Hope grimace.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Losticity.
(I suppose I could've nicked "The Lostness", since that seems retired, but the above works fine enough for me.)
I hope y'all watched LOST last night, 'cuz it was really good. Like the "tailies" episode, they twisted the flashbackery up a bit, as Claire gradually regained her memories of those two weeks she was held captive. No boring bullshit about how "my dude left me and now I'm single and pregnant so let's dwell on that and maybe the behy-bee would be better off with another family and hey aren't I just the least important and likable character on the show", etc., etc. Nothing but a solid hour of island-based hi-jinks, including the return of Ethan Rom, Spaceknight, and the discovery of a new Dharma structure, and the revelation that the chief hobo "Other" sports a fake beard and bears a resemblance to various other silver-haired old white men who've appeared on the show. Also the first substantial bit of Eko Adebisi in like two months, thank God. So a few new questions, and a few answers (mostly to questions we weren't even asking), and some good momentum heading into the final third of the season, which momentum of course will be immediately squandered as it's reruns 'til the 22nd.
(I suppose I could've nicked "The Lostness", since that seems retired, but the above works fine enough for me.)
I hope y'all watched LOST last night, 'cuz it was really good. Like the "tailies" episode, they twisted the flashbackery up a bit, as Claire gradually regained her memories of those two weeks she was held captive. No boring bullshit about how "my dude left me and now I'm single and pregnant so let's dwell on that and maybe the behy-bee would be better off with another family and hey aren't I just the least important and likable character on the show", etc., etc. Nothing but a solid hour of island-based hi-jinks, including the return of Ethan Rom, Spaceknight, and the discovery of a new Dharma structure, and the revelation that the chief hobo "Other" sports a fake beard and bears a resemblance to various other silver-haired old white men who've appeared on the show. Also the first substantial bit of Eko Adebisi in like two months, thank God. So a few new questions, and a few answers (mostly to questions we weren't even asking), and some good momentum heading into the final third of the season, which momentum of course will be immediately squandered as it's reruns 'til the 22nd.
