Haven't had a good meme in a while.
1. Worst DVD I own:
When I'd get bored or depressed in Athens I'd go buy random shit at Borders. One day I bought Nurse Betty
, and They Saved Hitler's Brain
for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. None of them are awful, or anything (well, okay, that last one is, but it's more entertaining than the other two), but there's no point in me owning any of them. And since I pretty much only buy a DVD if I know I absolutely want it, these are probably the worst, or least necessary, in my collection. Oh shit, also that Almost Famous
DVD, the one that came out before the Untitled edit. A shitty, unnecessary DVD for a pretty shitty movie.
2. Worst concert I've seen in person:
I didn't quite see it, but I was there, in person, on stage. The ingredients for an anti-classic: an uncomfortably packed house show on a cold night. An hour delay after the first two bands have played. Kegs that never seem to run dry (normally a good thing, yes). A violent drag-queen. Easily breakable light fixtures. Bad acid. Starting our set well after two am. Lack of practice. Untunable guitars. Pragmatic drummer. Blood, shattered glass, general mayhem. We made it through two and a half songs before Griggs walked out. More stuff got broken. What a horrible, horrible, absolutely miserable experience, far worse than any of the many shitty concerts I've seen by other folks.
3. Worst experience ever in a restaurant:
Not a great story. We were at some shitty chain bbq joint in Chattanooga, like the Applebee's of barebecue, maybe Famous Fingers or Sticky Dave's. The waiter was some frat-house pretty-boy who spent all his time flirting with the waitresses. He brought us our menus after ten minutes or so and basically disappeared. We'd see him walk out of the back, go talk to a waitress for a few minutes, then disappear again. After another ten or fifteen minutes he took our drink orders. Twenty minutes later we had to flag down the manager, who brought us our drinks and took our order. After our food came, the waiter came by, sat next to us, and tried to sweet-talk us into forgiving him, talking about how they were short a cook in the back and he was filling in. Of course we saw him take a smoke-break at one point, and he was regularly flirting with the waitresses. He was even half-assed with the smooth-talk. He very obviously did not give a fuck whatsoever. The manager gave us free dessert, which was nice, and comp'ed the folks next to us, who apparently waited over a half-hour to get their bill.
4. Worst movie I've ever seen in the theater:
Too many to decide. Maybe Million Dollar Mystery
, the first time I ever saw a movie in a completely empty theater. Or perhaps Caddyshack II
, the first movie I ever walked out on. Color of Night
would get some consideration, if it wasn't absolutely hilarious. But no, only two films can legitimately compete for this award: Devil's Advocate
5. Worst book I've actually finished:
I don't even finish books I like half the time. I'd have to go back to something forced upon us in high school, probably, to answer this one. Or how about Nevermind the Pollacks
? Again, not really awful, but two or three halfway decent, but not particularly clever, jokes stretched out to 200 pages. Definitely inferior to his first one, which still wasn't even that consistently great.
6. Worst looking/least appealing celebrity I'd have intimate relations with "just to tell the story":
I don't know, Barbara Walters? She was the first woman network news anchor, and everything.