Tuesday, April 13, 2004
THE MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE INTERVIEW.
This Week: Darkness speaks with Muqtada Al-Sadr, the fiery Iraqi Shi'ite cleric recently dubbed "the most evil man in Iraq", and the leader of the Shi'ite insurgency in Iraq.
MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE: So, Mr. Al-Sadr, how does it feel to be the most evil man in Iraq?
AL-SADR: Well, before we jump into this, I just want to say hello, and thank you for having me on your weblog, Darkness.
ME: Thanks, it’s a pleasure, as always. Now, how does it feel to be so damn evil?
AL-SADR: Well I wouldn’t agree with the description evil.
ME: But you are killing us.
AL-SADR: Oh, of course, I’m killing your men daily.
ME: And that’s not evil?
AL-SADR: Well, Dark, really, what is evil? Who can say? Is killing someone evil? Maybe. Have my dudes been killing a lot? You bet. But does that make me evil? That’s for Allah to decide.
ME: But you are killing us. Every day. Why are you killing us?
AL-SADR: Because you are killing us.
ME: But we are killing you because we love you.
AL-SADR: And we appreciate your love. But before we can be loved, we must first love ourselves.
ME: So, do you miss Saddam?
AL-SADR: Of course not. He oppressed my people, had my father murdered, and refused to let us practice our religion.
ME: But what about the torture chambers, and the rape rooms?
AL-SADR: I am glad they are gone.
ME: If it weren’t for us they’d still be in operation. Your buddy Saddam would still be raping and torturing innocent Iraqi citizens.
AL-SADR: As I said, I am glad they are gone, and that that monster has been deposed.
ME: If you had your way, Mr. Al-Sadr, they would still be open.
AL-SADR: You are confused.
ME: Oh, see, this is what I hate about you liberals, when you start losing a debate you turn to smears and ad hominem attacks. You’re calling me confused? Point out one instance, one example, of where I am confused.
AL-SADR: I think the fact that you can’t different –
ME: Answer me!
AL-SADR: - iate between me and –
ME: Answer the question, Al-Sadr! When have I been confused?
AL-SADR: It should be obvious to you that you are –
ME: See, you can’t give me an example! Because you are lying! You are a liar!
AL-SADR: I don’t know how to respond to this.
ME: You can start by admitting that you’re a liar.
AL-SADR: Okay, whatever, call me a liar, I don’t care. I thought this website was supposed to be about music, anyway.
ME: Oh yeah. So what are you listening to down there in Sadr City?
AL-SADR: I caught the Pat McGhee Band the other night. They were good. I’m hoping to make it out to Bonnaroo in June, but that may be too close to when we’re supposed to take over the country and impose an Iranian-style theocracy on Iraq, so who knows if I can make it or not. And of course, most of the time, you can find me listening to Jerry and the Dead.
ME: You like the Grateful Dead?
AL-SADR: Of course! All Muslims do. He is one of the great prophets, one of the very best. Not as great as Mohammed, of course, but a little bit better than that Jesus guy.
ME: Wonderful. So in addition to being called "the most evil man in Iraq", People Magazine recently named you the most eligible bachelor in Iraq. Your thoughts?
AL-SADR: That's just wonderful. It really is. But truly, it was not a surprise.
ME: And why is that?
AL-SADR: Because all of the other eligible bachelors in Iraq have been killed by the Americans.
ME: Okay. That’s all the space we have here. Thanks a lot, Mr. Al-Sadr.
AL-SADR: You’re welcome. And thank you, America, for providing me and my like-minded colleagues with the opportunity to create another radical Islamic state in the Middle East. That’s just about the best gift a brother could get.
This Week: Darkness speaks with Muqtada Al-Sadr, the fiery Iraqi Shi'ite cleric recently dubbed "the most evil man in Iraq", and the leader of the Shi'ite insurgency in Iraq.
MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE: So, Mr. Al-Sadr, how does it feel to be the most evil man in Iraq?
AL-SADR: Well, before we jump into this, I just want to say hello, and thank you for having me on your weblog, Darkness.
ME: Thanks, it’s a pleasure, as always. Now, how does it feel to be so damn evil?
AL-SADR: Well I wouldn’t agree with the description evil.
ME: But you are killing us.
AL-SADR: Oh, of course, I’m killing your men daily.
ME: And that’s not evil?
AL-SADR: Well, Dark, really, what is evil? Who can say? Is killing someone evil? Maybe. Have my dudes been killing a lot? You bet. But does that make me evil? That’s for Allah to decide.
ME: But you are killing us. Every day. Why are you killing us?
AL-SADR: Because you are killing us.
ME: But we are killing you because we love you.
AL-SADR: And we appreciate your love. But before we can be loved, we must first love ourselves.
ME: So, do you miss Saddam?
AL-SADR: Of course not. He oppressed my people, had my father murdered, and refused to let us practice our religion.
ME: But what about the torture chambers, and the rape rooms?
AL-SADR: I am glad they are gone.
ME: If it weren’t for us they’d still be in operation. Your buddy Saddam would still be raping and torturing innocent Iraqi citizens.
AL-SADR: As I said, I am glad they are gone, and that that monster has been deposed.
ME: If you had your way, Mr. Al-Sadr, they would still be open.
AL-SADR: You are confused.
ME: Oh, see, this is what I hate about you liberals, when you start losing a debate you turn to smears and ad hominem attacks. You’re calling me confused? Point out one instance, one example, of where I am confused.
AL-SADR: I think the fact that you can’t different –
ME: Answer me!
AL-SADR: - iate between me and –
ME: Answer the question, Al-Sadr! When have I been confused?
AL-SADR: It should be obvious to you that you are –
ME: See, you can’t give me an example! Because you are lying! You are a liar!
AL-SADR: I don’t know how to respond to this.
ME: You can start by admitting that you’re a liar.
AL-SADR: Okay, whatever, call me a liar, I don’t care. I thought this website was supposed to be about music, anyway.
ME: Oh yeah. So what are you listening to down there in Sadr City?
AL-SADR: I caught the Pat McGhee Band the other night. They were good. I’m hoping to make it out to Bonnaroo in June, but that may be too close to when we’re supposed to take over the country and impose an Iranian-style theocracy on Iraq, so who knows if I can make it or not. And of course, most of the time, you can find me listening to Jerry and the Dead.
ME: You like the Grateful Dead?
AL-SADR: Of course! All Muslims do. He is one of the great prophets, one of the very best. Not as great as Mohammed, of course, but a little bit better than that Jesus guy.
ME: Wonderful. So in addition to being called "the most evil man in Iraq", People Magazine recently named you the most eligible bachelor in Iraq. Your thoughts?
AL-SADR: That's just wonderful. It really is. But truly, it was not a surprise.
ME: And why is that?
AL-SADR: Because all of the other eligible bachelors in Iraq have been killed by the Americans.
ME: Okay. That’s all the space we have here. Thanks a lot, Mr. Al-Sadr.
AL-SADR: You’re welcome. And thank you, America, for providing me and my like-minded colleagues with the opportunity to create another radical Islamic state in the Middle East. That’s just about the best gift a brother could get.
