"...take me away..."
So I went sailing for the first time ever on Saturday.
Twas a fine day for a maiden voyage down the Frederica River through the intercoastal waterways and out towards the vast sea of blue calling like a Christopher Cross chorus. Not a cloud in the sky - hours before the Dawgs game - Skynyrd jams as the host selected soundtrack - & salami sandwiches served by our gracious captain and his wife. Some friends of my dad. All was well and good until that faggot Astraeus partnered with that hussy - the ATLANTIC OCEAN - as they tried to swallow my mom and I into the deep blue underworld.
I shouldn't be so harsh on those guys, it was probably mainly the fault of the captain. A rather nice chap, and if he is a friend of my dad's he is a friend of the best. He had learned to sail back in the 80's and had successfully traversed portions of the Ocean before on trips to the Bahamas and such. So we placed our lives in his hands, willfully. Both trouble and his inadequacies reared their ugly heads when rounding the lower tip of St. Simons Island. Headwind. Headwind with both the JIB and MAINSAIL up. Headwind with both the JIB and MAINSAIL up with higher than normal waves pounding the now exposed underside of the boat. The hull was roughly horozontal to the water and my mom and I (who were sitting along the back railing of the boat) quickly realized we were in for some fun. I was sitting closer to the center of the back and had to grab a wire running to the top of the mast and reach out and grab my mom by the arm to keep her from splashing into the drink. We were rockin that shit. As the waves hit more and more and the wife of the captain was yelling quite loudly to turn in the direction of the wind, shit got pretty hectic there for a few minutes. The captain who had served himself a few "tawties" finally obliged and turned downwind and calmed the drama.
Shit was exciting though. My sister happened to snap a picture of my mom and I in the height of the fun. Hopefully it will turn out well and you guys will believe my oversensationalized drivel.