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Monday, October 24, 2005
  Don't Bring Your Precious Cat On The Plane With You



Our flight back from Boston was nearly unbearable.
Or should I say...un-CAT-able. HAHAHA! LOL!
The fucking lady behind me opposite side of the plane had her cat stuffed in her carry-on luggage. Her fucking full sized CAT! We get on the plan and all 6 of us start hearing the sporadic and muffled meow's and eventually thought that some kid had Nintendogs or Nintencats or some shit. Then a stewardess came down and asked if she had a live animal with her and if she could put it below, the lady said no. So the ENTIRE FUCKING TRIP - the cat is meowing once ever second. Once every second. ONCE every second. Doubletime when the plane would do a roll or hit slight turbulence. Thankfully we had headphones and blocked that shit out for a lot of the trip. The worst came once we landed (thankfully in hindsight). Well apparently when the wheels touched down with a bump, that cat's asshole just couldnt take any more. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. CAT SHIT CAT SHIT CAT SHIT! The stench started....and engulfed our row. Dude, shit was stank. The lady was as happy as a clam though, obviously familiar and desensitized to the cat gunk seeping from her carry-on.

We get off the plane and she immediately stops in an empty terminal, opens the bag to check on her snookums, realizes her cat is caked in dung, and immediately b-lines to the bathroom to wash the shit from her feline.

So yeah, don't fucking bring your cat ON the plane with you, little "Whiskers" is going to be fine underneath the deck where it can make ashtrays out of its on bowel movements for all I care.
 

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Dark doesn't want to own her, but he can't let her have it both ways.

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