Monday, April 04, 2005
My thoughts on the toilet seat...
Now recently I have voiced these opinions to the lucky, but I just got yelled at for leaving the toilet seat up at work....so gawd damn it I’m going to voice my opinions here.
"Why Womyn Don’t Have The Right To Yell At Men For Leaving The Toilet Seat Up!"
By DJ Hammond
My thoughts on this are basic. Simplistic. They come down to movement and laziness.
Let the world be the judge.
I would go out on a limb and say that at least 91 men throughout the history of Earth have been yelled at by women for leaving the seat up after they take a bladder busting piss. Now that is a lot, but why must we be yelled at for displaying common courtesy? Men, back me up on this one - if you were to go into take the said piss and you were to be a total wild heathen and leave the seat down, what would happen? Piss would get on that seat, but not for the reason that most women think (that we just piss all over the seat for the fun of it). 99% of the time that seat is getting doused from "residual splash". The piss beam sometimes is powerful and spashies go a-flying. What will a self-respecting man do at that point, take a few squares of TP and wipe that shit up. One Motion.
However, most men don’t do that, because they are even further thinking of the women of the world. They don’t even want a slight wetness to the seat, so what do they do? We bend down and lift the seat up, so no pee pee dribblets fly up on the seat. This takes one motion, bending down and lifting the seat up. To now not get yelled at by the womens, the man has to bend back over and lift the seat back down to its original resting place. That is a grand total of two motions people.
Then a women goes to take a quick tinkle. She enters the stall and sees that the seat has been left up. TOTAL BEDLAM ENSUES. She then has to bend over and move the toilet seat into its resting position. One movement. She will then exit the bathroom and promptly call the world to BASH the men for being inactive lackadaisical neanderthal assheads for not putting the toilet seat down. The most a woman will ever have to do in the bathroom is make one movement to put down the seat. While on the other hand, men have to go through two motions to display gallantry and to avoid having their manhood kicked in.
Now seriously world of mine, who are the lazy ones?
Now recently I have voiced these opinions to the lucky, but I just got yelled at for leaving the toilet seat up at work....so gawd damn it I’m going to voice my opinions here.
"Why Womyn Don’t Have The Right To Yell At Men For Leaving The Toilet Seat Up!"
By DJ Hammond
My thoughts on this are basic. Simplistic. They come down to movement and laziness.
Let the world be the judge.
I would go out on a limb and say that at least 91 men throughout the history of Earth have been yelled at by women for leaving the seat up after they take a bladder busting piss. Now that is a lot, but why must we be yelled at for displaying common courtesy? Men, back me up on this one - if you were to go into take the said piss and you were to be a total wild heathen and leave the seat down, what would happen? Piss would get on that seat, but not for the reason that most women think (that we just piss all over the seat for the fun of it). 99% of the time that seat is getting doused from "residual splash". The piss beam sometimes is powerful and spashies go a-flying. What will a self-respecting man do at that point, take a few squares of TP and wipe that shit up. One Motion.
However, most men don’t do that, because they are even further thinking of the women of the world. They don’t even want a slight wetness to the seat, so what do they do? We bend down and lift the seat up, so no pee pee dribblets fly up on the seat. This takes one motion, bending down and lifting the seat up. To now not get yelled at by the womens, the man has to bend back over and lift the seat back down to its original resting place. That is a grand total of two motions people.
Then a women goes to take a quick tinkle. She enters the stall and sees that the seat has been left up. TOTAL BEDLAM ENSUES. She then has to bend over and move the toilet seat into its resting position. One movement. She will then exit the bathroom and promptly call the world to BASH the men for being inactive lackadaisical neanderthal assheads for not putting the toilet seat down. The most a woman will ever have to do in the bathroom is make one movement to put down the seat. While on the other hand, men have to go through two motions to display gallantry and to avoid having their manhood kicked in.
Now seriously world of mine, who are the lazy ones?
