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Monday, January 31, 2005
  Arm Whips (2.5)

I don't care if they are overplayed as a mug right now, Keane is a fucking good band. Coldplay lite, British pretty boys, choir ladies whatever you want to call them - they still can belt out a fine tune then turn around and whip your ass with a killer ARM WHIP!

First off, that band the Zutons opened. Eh. I was more impressed than I would have thought (only due to their killer drum circle jam towards the end of their set) based on what I have heard of that record. Brits trying to get a sound like the Choral or something. Decent. Oh yeah, Todd Blumenthal is the lead singer too. Not really but we ran into Todd in the lobby of the Roxy where he was looming over the Zutons autograph table and I walked up to him and said "hey, how did you get off of stage so quickly?!" to which he responded with, "I've already had one guy come up to me and tell me I played a kick ass show" - pretty classy.

Keane is almost perfect at writing piano driven songs that make you think of the glory days. The singer's voice is an essential part of what makes this band good, because it is Earnest and you listen to the guy and really think this dude has a good head on his shoulders. So much so that you would follow him into battle. It also stands up live just as well as it does on cd, which is hard. However, what has made me like this band more than anything probably is how the singer acts on stage. He doesn't play an instrument, so he is left in the wasteland to try to not look lame as fuck by dancing with the mic stand and mic. Well this guy has trumped all other singers (maybe I should say all lead singers not from the 80s) with probably the best "move" ever. Initially you see him and you think he is awkward, but then he gets warmed up with a little double mic grip (mic still on the stand)-eyes closed, rockin back and forth, then he will grip a little air and pull it straight back to his chest/stomach like -"feel this". Then there is the, I'm going to nail this note so therefore THRUST MY HAND OUT AND TO THE SIDE LIKE - "DONE, HIT IT!" Seriously though guys, don't get me wrong, these are all awesome as fuck moves, but nothing in comparison to his "the reason I get the bra's ultimate move" - this will knock you on your ass. ARM WHIPS. Almost equivalent to Bob Pollard's leg kick, this guy will take the mike freestanding right as the song is hitting a crescendo, and then run towards his other bandmates and whip his arm (hand in fist) up like he just scored a goal in the Premiership Final! ITS equally hilarious as it is invigorating! The more and more he does it, the more you get pumped to high five, and drink! So we created the Keane drinking game. If you get a full whip, that's a huge gulp. A half whip which is usually just an arm thrust or something, that's a half gulp. Then, here's the flip: At the beginning of each song you look to your friend, and say, "oh, this is a jam, I bet I can get 2.5 good arm whips out of this song." As the song progresses you will find yourself praying for a full WHIP! And trust me 90% of the time, he comes through! Then you make your friend drink his ass off, cause he doubted the WHIPS! Fuckin, half whip beotch.

I tried to find some photos documenting this amazement, and found these. Flip through and take a gander, its worth it! ARM WHIP at your desk as you continue through the pictures!

Keane, great whippin' dudes.


 

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MESMERIZATION ECLIPSE RADIO:
Elliott is on AM 1690 the Voice of the Arts on Monday nights from 7-9PM for Radio Undefined
Crews is on WXDU on Tuesday mornings from ten to noon

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Dark doesn't want to own her, but he can't let her have it both ways.

Cocaine Bref is proud of his island heritage & will riff with you.

Elliott is sufficiently breakfast.
PS3 ID: ATLbloodfeast

Crog works in the bullshit industry in Hollywood. He was born on May 7th, 1978.

Jerkwater Johnson (friend to CT Jake Motherfucker) lives in San Francisco. He likes snacking, and the Mets, and is the proprietor of a bar called Duck Camp.

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