What does a whale's asshole smell like?

Probably exactly like what my office smells like right now!

Yup, another "classic" about my bitchass coworker.
So she is hungover as fuck today because she drank like 3 bottles of wine last night (alone and 35). Probably while sniffing her dogs' collective asses and listening to Dave FM (her uh-huh new favorite thing!). So this morning she just had to take a break because she wasnt feeling well, so she waits until my boss leaves for a meeting then leaves the office to go get breakfast...fucking crazy! She comes back and is all "I mean ya know, I needed some grease".

So she then cruises the internet for a few hours. Probably looking for a boyfriend.

Then she leaves for lunch - she tells me how one day I will learn what its like to drink that much on a Tuesday night. I told her she might one day learn what its like to kick it with Shaq, but probably not.

I leave for lunch and come back to the smell of Whale ASSHOLE! She brought back Thai food to the office and it fucking stunk up the whold damn building. As I was walking down the hall, I could smell that shit and immediately I thought to myself..."I hope that is the smell of her vomiting on herself!" Too bad, that would have been a good sight, and probably gotten her fired.

So if you are interested in smelling the inside of a whale, come on over!

-she is also pissed b/c my boss announced that he wasnt going to go to Amelia Island tomorrow due to the Hurricane. I mean she must be pissed, because now she cant leave early tomorrow and take Friday off without anyone knowing. Ho.
  ¶ posted by Zazz at 1:00 PM