Friday, March 12, 2004
US vs. DIDDY vs. SHIT
Ok so I'm pretty sure that everyone who writes for and reads this blog is pretty familiar with bowel movements. However is everyone aware of the fact that over the last year Mesmerization Eclipse has been participating in various trials and skill assessments against the one and only P-Diddy?
Well readers, pep this "shit"...
To give you somewhat of a small glance into the nature of these massive mental encounters we have engaged in over the past year (versus P-diddy)...here are descriptions of just 3 of the "Brain Buster Clashes":
1) March 29, 2003 - ATL vs. NYC Challenge 2003: Who Can Hover Above the City Longest?
We totally flip-scolded his ass on this one! We nominated the Darkness to embody the Mesmerization team, and readers - he totally blew our minds when he HOVERED above the earf. We had a video conference set up and Diddy was trying and trying to jump (obviously he had not studied, horrible technique) but he never remained floating for longer than the 1 second worth of air he got. Well when he said "We Aint Goin No Place" he was right. Dark slid into this Indian trance and started mumbling nonsense words like "ful-ahk ah hahhh tutahnken" and "shaq es numero uno"! Crazy CRYPTIC languages! Well, we went up 1-0 when Dark shot up 40 feet in the air and just stayed there for about an hour sending out a violet aura which he says came from the mental image of him shitting on Diddy . WE WIN DIDDY, you fuckin pansy.
2) August 1, 2003 - Nude Tennis Rap-Off!
The question is...who can rap about tennis, wif no clothes on? Not many folks, and sure as hell not Puff Daddy! (What, yeah I called you by your old name...WHAT, bitch! What are you going to do...I know you aint going to beat me wif a Tennis Rap). I took over on this one. "I got this fellaz, I'm going to VOLLEY with him for a while then put him away with an OVERHEAD SMASH of Rap" I told the guys. Diddy started out strong he rhymed Love, with Love - and had one good line "I hit you a serve, let me get in my swerve, apple bottoms in lil' skirts, your shot was a turrrd". I was like, "Damn", plus his big balls (which were sweatin' cause he was nervous) were all out there for everyone to see, since he was naked. I stepped up to the net - disrobed and delivered a dish so tight even Jimmy Connors sat up in his grave and clapped. Example of the flow: "Diddy you gay at tennis". Now that's 2-0 with out even liftin a fanger.
3) 2-21-2004 - Best Mama Cass Impersonation (While Drinking From A Beer Bong)
I wont lie. This was a tough one folks. First off Team 'Zation had a hard time choosing which member to send to the gauntlet. Would it be Elliot who is good at both impersonating Cass and Drinking, or Crog who is slightly less versed in the double chin swing but one helluva drinker. Hmm. We ended up tossing a coin (one with Jesus on one side and Bill Cosby on the other)...."COSBY!" Crog yelled! Unfortunately for him, Jesus was sitting there on the floor just winking. Elliot is to face DIDDY! Elliot started out strong as hell - chuggin and singing hits like "California is Brown" but in the end Diddy just slayed us on this event. He dug up Cass's lifeless body and somehow made a mask out of her skin. He even ended the bit by shoving a fried banana cheesecake in his mouth. Diddy we coincide, 'bout time you got on the board.
So back to the prime and present proposition! BATTLE #4!
March 15, 2004 - WHO CAN RECORD THE BEST RAP RECORD WITH THEIR ASSHOLE WIRED SHUT?
Now we all know about how awesome Kanye West is, and how he almost died in a car wreck thus inspiring him to rap one of his singles with his JAW WIRED SHUT! Well, Diddy your asshole has been making one hell of a stink recently - TIME TO SHUT IT UP! WHO CAN RAP WITH A BUCH OF BMs UP IN THEM? US OR YOU? Rap record...easy. Wired shut asshole...easy. About to be 3-1 up in this..
DIDDY - SEE YOU MONDAY, and if your butthole is whistlin' then we will bring out our stapler!
Ok so I'm pretty sure that everyone who writes for and reads this blog is pretty familiar with bowel movements. However is everyone aware of the fact that over the last year Mesmerization Eclipse has been participating in various trials and skill assessments against the one and only P-Diddy?
Well readers, pep this "shit"...
To give you somewhat of a small glance into the nature of these massive mental encounters we have engaged in over the past year (versus P-diddy)...here are descriptions of just 3 of the "Brain Buster Clashes":
1) March 29, 2003 - ATL vs. NYC Challenge 2003: Who Can Hover Above the City Longest?
We totally flip-scolded his ass on this one! We nominated the Darkness to embody the Mesmerization team, and readers - he totally blew our minds when he HOVERED above the earf. We had a video conference set up and Diddy was trying and trying to jump (obviously he had not studied, horrible technique) but he never remained floating for longer than the 1 second worth of air he got. Well when he said "We Aint Goin No Place" he was right. Dark slid into this Indian trance and started mumbling nonsense words like "ful-ahk ah hahhh tutahnken" and "shaq es numero uno"! Crazy CRYPTIC languages! Well, we went up 1-0 when Dark shot up 40 feet in the air and just stayed there for about an hour sending out a violet aura which he says came from the mental image of him shitting on Diddy . WE WIN DIDDY, you fuckin pansy.
2) August 1, 2003 - Nude Tennis Rap-Off!
The question is...who can rap about tennis, wif no clothes on? Not many folks, and sure as hell not Puff Daddy! (What, yeah I called you by your old name...WHAT, bitch! What are you going to do...I know you aint going to beat me wif a Tennis Rap). I took over on this one. "I got this fellaz, I'm going to VOLLEY with him for a while then put him away with an OVERHEAD SMASH of Rap" I told the guys. Diddy started out strong he rhymed Love, with Love - and had one good line "I hit you a serve, let me get in my swerve, apple bottoms in lil' skirts, your shot was a turrrd". I was like, "Damn", plus his big balls (which were sweatin' cause he was nervous) were all out there for everyone to see, since he was naked. I stepped up to the net - disrobed and delivered a dish so tight even Jimmy Connors sat up in his grave and clapped. Example of the flow: "Diddy you gay at tennis". Now that's 2-0 with out even liftin a fanger.
3) 2-21-2004 - Best Mama Cass Impersonation (While Drinking From A Beer Bong)
I wont lie. This was a tough one folks. First off Team 'Zation had a hard time choosing which member to send to the gauntlet. Would it be Elliot who is good at both impersonating Cass and Drinking, or Crog who is slightly less versed in the double chin swing but one helluva drinker. Hmm. We ended up tossing a coin (one with Jesus on one side and Bill Cosby on the other)...."COSBY!" Crog yelled! Unfortunately for him, Jesus was sitting there on the floor just winking. Elliot is to face DIDDY! Elliot started out strong as hell - chuggin and singing hits like "California is Brown" but in the end Diddy just slayed us on this event. He dug up Cass's lifeless body and somehow made a mask out of her skin. He even ended the bit by shoving a fried banana cheesecake in his mouth. Diddy we coincide, 'bout time you got on the board.
So back to the prime and present proposition! BATTLE #4!
March 15, 2004 - WHO CAN RECORD THE BEST RAP RECORD WITH THEIR ASSHOLE WIRED SHUT?
Now we all know about how awesome Kanye West is, and how he almost died in a car wreck thus inspiring him to rap one of his singles with his JAW WIRED SHUT! Well, Diddy your asshole has been making one hell of a stink recently - TIME TO SHUT IT UP! WHO CAN RAP WITH A BUCH OF BMs UP IN THEM? US OR YOU? Rap record...easy. Wired shut asshole...easy. About to be 3-1 up in this..
DIDDY - SEE YOU MONDAY, and if your butthole is whistlin' then we will bring out our stapler!
